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Exclusive or not in an exclusive relationship?

Published on February 6, 2010 by iluvdre

We have been dating off and on for about two years because he is/was scared of commitment. We took a break this summer and dated other people . As much as we tried to stay away it brought us closer. As of now the commitment thing doesn't seem to be an issue. He is making effort to see me more, calls more often, texts more often, makes time for me, and tells me "i love you & miss you too". So I ask him -are we in an exclusive relationship? His answer - I haven't been seeing anyone else and I don't plan on it. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???? ofcourse i took it for what it was worth the truth.


I think it sounds like he wants an exclusive relationship, but unfortunately, I think you have to talk to him about it again just to be sure. It's a subject people have to be very clear about or later you might find you didn't think the same thing. So have another conversation about your commitment to each other.

Thanks for the advice.. unfortunately there is a part two to this. He doesnt seem to invite me to events where his friends are. Today for the superbowl we went to two different events separately and it really got to me. There was no reason why we couldn't have gone to his friends house together, other than the fact he is not ready. So I think his actions speak louder than words. I told him I am going to date other people. His response was "serious?" and I asked him "are you?" He didn't answer. Instead he thinks I am already seeing someone else which is a just mind games.

It sounds like he thinks of it as an exclusive relationship and wants it to be so. You should be more upfront about what you want also.

After reading your response, you shouldn't play mind games. It will make a relationship that's somewhat confusing even more so. If you want to date him exclusively and get more serious you should just tell him that. Be honest with him. How can you expect him to be honest with you if you aren't with him? You're assuming that because he didn't invite you to go out with his friends that he isn't serious. But it could just be that he had pre-existing plans with his friends and didn't think it was okay to invite you. Was it a guys only thing? Try not to jump to conclusions. If you want it to work you have to be patient, honest and true to your feelings.

Thanks for the advice. I took the conversation one step further and he clearly said he isnt in a hurry nor knows what he wants. When i asked what he wants from me he said me in his life. Only thing is he isnt sure how. About the friend thing he said he only rolls solo. Im officially going to give him some solo time.