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Ex Drama

Published on December 15, 2010 by pam85

My ex and I broke up after 2 years of dating. He called after 5 and keeps calling me for advice on how to deal with his current girlfriend of 3 months. It’s an insensitive thing to do yet he doesn’t understand that. She lives miles away as it is a long distance relationship and is pulling away from him. He asks me why and asks me for help on how to deal with her. I know there are inconsistencies in his story and he keeps comparing her to me although we are nothing alike. I want to help him yet its incredibly hard to do so. Why is he doing this? My friends say he is trying to make me jealous however he says he loves her. What do you think compelled him to call me?

ANSWERS

He isn't satisfied is in current relationship so he is trying to keep his foot in your door just in case it doesn't work out. You may want to help him, but your emotional health is more important at this point. Tell him it's just too soon for you to be on this level of friendship. Say you would be willing to talk about other things, but that you don't believe you are the person to be giving him relationship advice. Or tell him where to stick it. Whatever works better for you. :)

Two years is a long time to be dating. Your ex obviously feels safe and comfortable talking with you. He values your point of view and seems to think you can help him to handle his new girlfriend better. Without realizing it, he may miss being with you and feel that this is his only way to maintain contact. On the other hand, although he may not have shown it, perhaps he was really hurt by the breakup and is trying to make you feel jealous and insecure. If he really loves her and no longer wants to be with you, it is not kind for him to ask for your advice. But --you may also be encouraging him, by not letting him know that this bothers you. He may really believe that you are now his friend and that you want to help him.

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