Everything was perfect, what happened?

Published on March 12, 2013 by love to love

I've been seeing this guy for about a month, he's 27, I'm 24. He seemed perfect, asked me out regularly. The first week we met we went out 4 out of the 7 days. He said all the right things, did all the right things. Then out of nowhere I get a text from him last night saying "I hate to do this through text but this situation between me and you isn't really working out the way I thought it would my heart's just not in it like i thought it would be" I asked him to call me to talk about it because doing this through text was just childish to me. He said he couldn't talk right now so I asked him to call me when he could because I would rather hear it coming straight from him than through text and he said okay. This all happened around 11pm, he never did call but I need answers so I'm thinking of calling him today after I leave work. I just don't understand what could have gone wrong, everything was great just 4 days ago. And I guess I don't understand what he means by "my heart's just not in it the way I thought it would be" did he expect to fall in love after only a month?? To clarify, we have not had sex yet. The one night I said I was ready he said he wanted to wait and make it special, something I would always remember.

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On March 13, 2013, whitelotusjan said:

There are so many reasons people do what they do and some of them, unfortunately, can be hurtful. You have asked this guy to consider your feelings by speaking with you, but he has declined. His actions are not those of a person who shows respect or caring, or one who values good communication skills in a relationship...all vital characteristics to look for in any relationship, especially a long-term one.

I know it's frustrating to want to know what happened since you had feelings for him, but it might be best to pull back and focus on being super kind to yourself right now. Make sure you feel whole in your own skin. Don't let anyone knock you off balance by their actions. The only way someone can take your peace is if you let them.

What he did is not about you. It's about him. It shows that he can make bad choices and be inconsiderate of your needs. It's best to learn these things early in a relationship so you can move on and find someone who wants to share equally. You don't have to settle for less. Set your goals high and stick to them!

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