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dont no what to do?

Published on February 3, 2010 by char999

i just found im pregnant for the second time ages 21 now have gorgus daughter chloe who is nearly 2 i left her dad after 4 half years total arse and got with steven someone i have known for 14 years same school grew up together been together 6 months but my family are very strickt and they will go mental when they find out? im scared because i had bad labour with chloe and i really want to be knocked out c-section but doubt they will allow that?

ANSWERS

If you had a bad labor with your first child, your doctors may be able to help you. If it was painful, they can give you painkillers. If things went wrong, they may want you to have a C-section. Talk to them.

How is Steven reacting? Is he being good to you? Maybe he could help you talk to your parents.

Are you trying to decide if you want an abortion or just trying to figure out what to do now?

stevens really happy and wants the baby so much i feel like haveing 2 kids will ruin things and we wont get time together and i wont cope with two off them.im so scared bout going into labour again that it is makeing me panic so much. stevens being great and very understanding and im biteing his head off because im so stressed i did think about abortion but i really dont agree in them at all . i keep worring bout misscarriges im just so scared mainly how my family will react to this and will they disown me and be very dissapointed in me i just scared off not being able to have time to my self and not time for friends or go out at all just once or twice maybe a month

It sounds like you know about the difficulties of raising a child already and that's affecting how you react. How about making a list of things you can do for all of the problems and talking to Steven. How can you take care of two kids? How can you still get time together? Where can you get help? How can you get time for yourself and for fun? How can he help you with all of these things? What is he willing to do? Does he completely understand what it's like to not be able to go out at night and to have less sex, etc.?

For the labor worries, I suggest you talk to a doctor or nurse.

Talking to your parents is going to be hard. A few things that might help - make plans about what you're going to do first. Then when you talk to them, you can show them that you and Steven are trying to act responsibly. Get someone else to help you talk to them or prepare the way. Write them a letter first so that they have time to think about it before you see them. You may want to admit any mistakes you've made and tell them you're trying to focus on the future and doing the right thing now.

It sounds like you really aren't ready to be a mother. When you have a kid you have to live your life for them and provide for them. It's a big responsibility. And it means you have to sacrifice quality time alone with your boyfriend and nights out with your friends. Seeing as how you already have a daughter, I find it hard to believe that you don't feel you can commit to that because you already did. And what difference does it make what your parents think at this point. You already had one kid and they're still around after that. It isn't like they're going to disown you now. At least your boyfriend is being supportive. If you're seriously thinking about abortion, you should discuss that with your boyfriend. It's his kid too and he has a right to know how you're feeling. But if you are considering that make sure it's for the right reasons. And after you've made the decision to have the baby or not, you should definitely go on birth control so you don't end up with another unplanned pregnancy. Be responsible and careful so that when you end up pregnant again it's for the right reasons and an occasion to be celebrated not dreaded. As for labor pains, if you had a lot of trouble with your first child, just talk to your doctor. They'll know the best approach to get you through this pregnancy. It's their job to make sure you have a safe and healthy delivery.

not ready be mother lol i am one im just worried bout how to cope with two off them i was very ill with my kidneys as normal and on antibiotics and my pill didnt work and the .. split so it really wasnt my fault i am happy about it and i do hold up to my responsabilitys

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