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Don't know how to take next step

Published on February 4, 2012 by nicky89

I'm a recluse. I don't really have any friends and never had a boyfriend. My own family is making me feel a lot worst about this. I do not want to be alone forever, but I don't really see any other choice. I do not know how to attract people. There are a couple of guys I like and I am pretty sure they like me but will not ask me out, they just flirt. I never really dated anyone and now I am a college grad with no experience and (from the looks of things) no future with anyone and no real friends. What can I do to feel better about myself and meet new people. What is worst is how my mom makes me feel worthless and compares me to by very sociable little sister. I don't think physically there is anything wrong with me but maybe there is. Just a little while ago, my co-workers organized a get together at a gym and to feed the homeless and I was not invited. To add insult to injury they organized these events right in front of me and still did not invite me. I wish I could be like the other girls going out with guys and meeting new people but I think my self-confidence is so low it's practically non-existent. I was bullied since pre-k till my senior year in high school, so obviously that didn't help with my confidence either. I can put a smile on my face and pretend I'm happy but I'm not. What should I do I am in my early 20s and I just want anyone to give me a chance at being a friend or a partner. My ex best friend told me a year ago that I'll never find anyone, I'm not pretty and a bunch of other horrible things. Of course, even though she apologized I refuse to let her back in my life. What can I do to meet new people? If I do go anywhere it is always by myself and now I'm just not seeing a point going anywhere anymore n


There are many books you can get at the library to work on improving your self esteem. To have a good friend you have to be a good friend. You have to compliment people and ask them questions like, what did you do for fun this weekend? Have you seen any good movies lately. Practice smiling with the elderly and children at the grocery store. To meet some new people, try volunteer work. You'll find many men at Habitat for Humanity. Go to, which is local activity groups that you sign up for. Some are specifically for singles. Men gravitate toward the outdoor activity groups.

You have to work on yourself first. If you feel good about yourself, you will attract men who are emotionally healthy, themselves. If you don't feel good about yourself, you will attract bullies and abusers. Tell you're mother you are working on yourself, and if she can't say anything positive to you, then not to say anything at all. If she starts criticizing you, leave the room.

Practice your new skills. Everything worth it in life is challenging. Don't take the easy way out. It's getting you nowhere. Good luck.

The world is a mirror and the only thing out there is you. What you receive from your co-workers and friends is what they are seeing in you. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a miracle just like the rest of us. You just need to discover that for yourself. When you work with me, I have a process that grows self-esteem in a miraculous way. It is actually a delightful experience.