0 0


Divorce or not

Published on May 3, 2010 by kandib

My husband and I have been married 14 yrs. He retired over a year ago. I work because he will not help me with buying gifts for my children and grandchildrens birthdays and holidays. I buy my own food,necessities,gas, etc. He is 58 I am 44. We have NOTHING in both our names together. The house,land, everything was his before we got married. We even have separate bank accounts. I don't make but,8.75hr and work 25 to 30 hours a week. I can't afford to live on my own. The problem with our marriage is that he will not and has not ever accepted my kids. When they do come over (which is seldom because they feel unwelcome by him) he will get up and leave. I have asked him to please put the house in my name too so that if he was to die on me then I would at least have a place to live. He refuses to put me on the will for ANYTHING. This means his 2 grown kids will recieve everything. Which I don't mind them getting all the land and the other house he owns. I would just like to feel a little secure in knowing I have a place to live. My health is not in the best shape and I know I won't be able to work most likely by the time I'm 60 for sure. I feel like he is treating me very disrespecful because I have been there for him and I have never run around on him. But even that is getting to me. Why be married to someone that doesn't love me enough to make sure that I am secure in my old age? I figure if I'm gonna have to work to support myself then why not do it with someone who will work with me? I am seriously considering getting a divorce.. I just don't have the money to get one. Legal aid will not help you if it is a contested divorce and I know he will fight me. He has the money to pay for a good lawyer because he just last year inheirted 320,000. When I ask him about the house we end up fighting terribly. He says I'm just after HIS MONEY. Why would he feel this way to someone who has always been there for him?


Dear Kandi B,

I hear you with all my heart, and I can feel what is going on within your life.The only truth and decision lies within your heart. The 'reasons' we have to not living a fulfilling life, and that which holds us back is when we are surrendering to our fears and limitations, and the false belief systems that we have embraced.

Have you reflected on all the questions you have asked here, and arrived at some answers perhaps? My feeling is that you have, but that the answers are all scattering within your mind which is cluttered with all the fears that are pulling you back in. I know this to be true because I have been there...Three years ago, I made a decision to leave everything that I had materially to start my life anew...And it has been the most blessed major life change that I have made in that crossroad of my life.

There wasn't much of a support system going for me at the time of my decision. I knew had to do it alone, and that I would Do It No Matter What! My life is Bigger than all of the stuff that was I was living, and leaving. My child was my fuel, courage and inspiration to take the action that was necessary in order to move forward toward my vision.

Oh believe me, the fear was definitely up in my face. But the courage to act in the face of the unknown was even greater, and I was empowered by a greater higher consciousness and energy, in any name you choose. I spoke to God, to the Universe and to my higher self to simply guide me, and to light my path.

I just knew at that moment I had to do whatever it takes to turn my life over, and to believe in myself, and to have faith and trust in the grace of the Divine, that all will be well. If there is one thing I can share with you, is that the moment we create an action (not one of impulse), a momentum of providence will align in one's path. You may not see it immediately or you may:), the only thing you have to do is to keep moving forward and to stay in your course. Be concentrated and stay focused with each step at a time.

Divine Grace awaits you...when you step up to your greater Self and to your Life. No one is able to give you the answers. Within each of us is a seed of potential to be great, and to be living a life of purpose. Take the time to ask yourself where would truly like to be? What would truly give your life meaning? What is important to you?

Have faith in the Guidance within you as you begin to Step Into Your State of Personal Power. When you begin to take charge of your own Life, all good will follow. Know that you are embraced, and that you are potential awaiting to blossom.

With love and blessings, Donna