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distraction

Published on July 4, 2014 by zabcia82

My boyfriend and I love having sex.We have been together for over a year now and we were always very in to each other. We love making love and we love simply just fucking hard core. We also love trying new things that's what makes everything even more interesting and fun. However, a lot of the times my boyfriend could get very distracted and all of the sudden it seems like he doesn't want to have sex with me. We could be so in to it and having an amazing time and he just starts thinking about things that aren't relevant to what we are doing at that time. I feel like I am doing something wrong and it's my fault he can't concentrate on being intimate. He says it's not me. He just doesn't know why that happens. He could be so in to it and next thing he starts thinking about other things. How can I help him overcome this little issue we are having. And help him concentrate on us being intimate. We both are very in love and we want to make each other happy. Please help.

ANSWERS

This can be a pretty common occurrence and it can discourage a lot of people from sex (with anyone) if they don't really realize how to handle it. Personally, I find one of the most important things that can help in matters like this is to both focus more on being in the present moment. One of the easiest way to push both of you into the present moment is to make more eye contact during sex. Another is to simply make the intention to draw more focus onto your own individual body sensations rather than any "routine" that you may do or by focusing on the other person's experience.

Though it may not sound appealing or make sense at first, it can also be beneficial to slow down during sex. Sometimes all the high activity of moving so fast can kind of push us out of the present moment and makes our minds wander a bit. So perhaps slowing things down a bit or just taking some moment to slow down before speeding up again can help.

Overall though, remember that it has nothing to do with you. It is his own unique experience and his own struggle of his wandering mind, which he would be very likely to have even while with someone else. It's mostly a matter of the both of you really tuning into your own bodily experiences individually.

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