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Difference in Views

Published on October 21, 2012 by susanseven

I have been dating my current boyfriend for 7 months. We are both young but are very loyal honest caring and loving towards eachother. There's so much respect in the relationship and we always want to make each other happy. Both him and myself are long term commited people, and its hard to find, but we really truly want to be together always. Everything in our relationship is great except for two things. For myself, religion is very important to me and I am Catholic. I go to mass every Sunday and pray often. I have a very hard time accepting my boyfriends views of religion. He doesnt know what he believes in and I often encourage him to turn to the Catholuc church. He states he 'doesnt want to be labelled one of them.' he acts childish about the topic, and it really upsets me. I want a partner who will help me grow in my faith, and even thoigj we are young and his views may change, it worries me alot. He respects my beliefs and even went to church once with me, and agreed to saving himself until we are married. sometimes I feel like its not enough but I try to think positive. Its like we annoy eachother when we talk abput religion and have arguements about it. The second thing is that he doesnt like babies. I dont know why but he wont even touch my baby sister. He reallu likes children and toddlers but dispises babies. This ofc worries me for the future cause I want children, but I try not to worry since we are young. So my question now is, is the relationship all worth it if people say you cant change someone? If his religious views dont change I know I wouldnt want him as a partner. To everyone else though that seems so stupid because everything else is great in our relationship. Were just both stubborn in our opinions and views which leads to argeuments. Is this something to worry about now? What is worth sacraficing in a relationship? What is worth worrying about? Thanks so much.

ANSWERS

The thing to remember is that he is being upfront with you about his views on both religion and babies. If you harbor the belief that his views will change or that you can change him, you're setting yourself up for conflict and frustration.

Be honest with yourself about whether or not you can respect these differences between you two and let him have his own point of view and preferences. Ask yourself if either of these is a "dealbreaker" for you-- especially because you two are talking about getting married one day.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins

That's true about setting myself up for conflict.. One day I will have to make a decision if either are a dealbreaker. Thanks so much for your response Susie and Otto. Much appreciated.

Children and religion are two things that you have to be in agreement on for marriage. If you can't get on the same page with ONE of these, I'd consider that an irreconcilable difference, and cause for parting ways. With TWO of them - I'd say it's a certainty. Neither one of you is bad or wrong - just wrong for each other.

That's definetly true.. I'll have to see how it goes from here while aware of these things. Thank you for your response!

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