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Did she really not want to hurt my feelings or was she running away?

Published on March 5, 2010 by neobatou

Well I was dating my ex girl for over 6 months and everything seemed fine. We never really argued and she always wanted me to come over. It felt like we were inseparable......I even said if we waited a little while longer, perhaps a year or so I would love to marry her and she said yes, so I felt as if we were married anyways. I met a big portion of her family and everyone seemed to like me, and I though I felt welcomed. But then I started to have problems at work, so I decided to go to the bar and drink a little bit with my friends to try and see if I could get a better job. But when I left the bar, she texted me saying that she didn't want to hurt me but she wanted to just be friends. Of course I had the right to kinda be angry and I asked her why she felt that way...and she told me that because I was drinking to "solve my problems". It just felt like she came up with some excuse just to break up with me...and just not come up and be real with me. She wont' even talk about it anymore and hangs up the phone on me...and if I"m lucky, she'll call me back saying that I know why she wanted to break up with me. If drinking was an issue, it was hardly something that seemed to bother her, because I NEVER even drunk any beer or alcohol when I am with her. Even if there was something bothering her, I gave her the benefit of the doubt by always telling her what's on her mind, or if there is anything we as a team need to change for the better. I feel so lost.....but that was a couple of months ago and I"m having to pick up where I left off. My question is did she really not want to hurt my feelings or maybe she was just running away from me? I'm kinda over it but the question just fogs over my head time and time again.


If you never drank around her and it didn't affect your behavior/treatment of her, then it's probably something else. She probably would have at least mention that your drinking bothered her beforehand. I'm saying this assuming you went out occasionally to drink and it wasn't a weekly or daily routine. There's no way for sure to know what the real reason was.