Where to start ... how about with whether it's normal to go through your BF's phone. It's not. People in relationships are supposed to trust each other. It would appear that neither of you trusts the other.
It's nice that you have the password - in case of an emergency, but other than that, why would you need or want to go through their phone if not to catch them in a lie or start a fight? As for him giving you the password, it was kind of a back-handed gesture on his part since he deletes his messages anyway - which implies that he does have something to hide.
Do you see where this is going? I do. Nowhere. Good luck to you.
LJ Innes, a YourTango Expert
ANSWER THIS QUESTION