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Dealing with Emotionally-Detached Men

Published on May 12, 2013 by anicole0203

Here's my long story...

I am struggling, as a VERY emotional young woman, to deal with my ex (I hate referring to him as that) who is a young, VERY emotionally-detached man. We met at a time where we both sophomores in college, we both were not looking for relationships. I would give no guy any time of day, just because I didn't wanna be bothered. And he, was a star football player, living the typical lives football players live, with all the fame, partying, and girls. He kept pursuing me for the longest, and I would just ignore him or be dry, until one day I finally gave in. We started spending more and more time together, and eventually fell in love with each other (he even pulled the 'I love you' out first). We were pretty much best friends in love, we had that relationship where we'd talk about any and everything, crack jokes on each other, and just chill. We could do nothing, and it was perfect. He's always told me he's not comfortable with talking about feelings and emotions, and that was clear, but when we were together he was starting to open up bit by bit with me. Fast forward to the breakup, I had to breakup with him because I just felt he was not ready for commitment. I knew he loved me, and was trying, but just the flirting, and the lifestyle of being an athlete, was too much for me, plus he's young and I know he's not mature yet. Even after breaking up, we've always found a way back into each other's lives, no matter what. He'd always be the one to reach back out, which shocked me, cause I thought that he would never think, care, miss or love me... but he always did. But it seems as if he's shut back down, emotionally, ever since, and every time I would want us to talk about our feelings about everything, he'd kinda pull back. He'd still tell me he loves me, he still has me over his house (at home with his mom and brothers), even for all the family BBQs, he has me there. I just don't know why he can't pour out his feelings like I can. It makes me think how can he truly love me. And now, he was recently drafted into the NFL, and before he'd call me whenever he was in town and spent time with me, even mentioning marriage, and saying how he wasn't ready now though (obviously). I just don't know what to do or believe, it's hard for me to let go of him, even temporarily, knowing that we simply can't be together now, cause we're both not ready. Should I just give up or is there reason to still have hope?