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Give Advice: Is He Busy? Or Am I A Booty Call?

Published on February 8, 2012 by kc815

I've been dating an investment banker for about 1.5 months. We had 2 normal, great dates... but then he got assigned to a live deal and was working every night until 2am (including weekends). I wasn't able to see him because of his schedule, so he started texting me when he got out of work at 1-2am. I resisted geting together then for a while for fear of turning a relationship into a booty call, but finally gave in and we hung out twice after work at 1am, finally having sex on the 4th date. My question is: do I continue seeing him late at night trusting that this is the only time he's available and he'll want to be a normal couple when time allows or should I change it up?

ANSWERS

One of the biggest mistakes singles make is to fall in love with someone’s potential. You fall in love with who that person could become rather than with who that person is now.

The dangers of the ‘Dating the Potential Not The Person’ Trap include:

• You ignore the “red flags” that are there to warn you this isn’t the right relationship for you. You focus on changing your partner - while you avoid taking responsibility for your own life. • You cling on to a relationship that isn’t going to fulfil you. • Your partner may begin to experience you as controlling and resent you. • You don’t experience getting your own needs met. • You can feel resentful, especially when the relationship fails ‘after all you’ve done’

If you want to improve your chances of being in a happy and long term relationship, then fall in love with someone as they are nowF not who they could become.

You are welcome to request a free copy of 7 Dating Traps at http://www.TheSinglesGym.com

Being available for him all the time when he asks is not the best strategy. As Susanne said, he will take you for granted, and in time will loose his interest in you. If late night dates work for you, it's ok. But if they don't... just say it. You don't have to give up what matters most to you just to be with someone who seems ok. If he's really interested in you, he will understand, respect you and adjust his schedule in a way that fits both of you... now or later on. If not, isn't it better to just end this relationship now... before you give up to much?

OMG... I recently was going through the same thing for 3 years now. And it's taking it's toll on me. One minute he wanted me and the next he'd act like i didn't exist. I kept hoping he would come around and treat me better, but, it never happened. Good luck to you. :)

Investment Bankers and Doctors have very little time to spend with others. This is the nature of these professions. Most doctors I know have been married at least twice, and many are on their third or fourth wife. So, if the lifestle is not what you are after, then its best to keep it casual, if that works for you.

He has NO free time during the day? Weekends? I find that very hard to believe. And, if he was that interested, he'd make time.

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