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Dating Frustration

Published on April 20, 2013 by pslam

A few days ago, I went on a date at our local coffee shop with a nice girl whose email address was given to me by my neighbor. I contacted her, we then exchanged a few emails to set up a morning date. I thought the date went well as we talked for over an hour, almost 2. I felt we had a really nice connection. Before our meeting, she told me she had prior plans for after our meet. After we talked, I walked her to her car. I asked if she'd like to get together again, she said yes, and I suggested dinner or a hike. She chose hiking. I asked her if she'd like to email, or get ahold of me (I had given her my cell in a prior email in case she couldn't find the place), and hoping to get her cell#, she never provided it. She then said she had friends arriving from out of state for the end of the week, and that she'd let me know. That evening, I sent her a short email thanking her for a nice time, nice to meet her, looking forward to meeting again. I never received a response, even now 4-5 days later. Should I contact her again, give it up, or move on. I would have thought some kind of response would be nice. I mentioned this to a good friend and she said to not follow up, that my date should have sent something. Where to go from here, or not? Thank you


Keep in mind many people in general have poor manners. some will say you acting too needy by being a perfect gentleman, others will say she's playing the date game and not contact her. Its easy to feel like you've done something wrong or may not have done something right, but all in all I am kind of skeptical about anyone passing anyone's email to me and the person whose email it is didn't give it to me. That's creepy. Then going hiking on a first date is even worse, as opposed to going to bowling in a "Group setting " where there is no pressure as opposed to a dinner date that can be perceived wrong. I'm just saying, if hiking and dinner were the only two options maybe you pegged yourself in and it could be ANYTHING that made her brush you off: physical attraction, lack of endurance ,body weight or size?, Conversation during hiking or too much conversation during the exercise of Unfortunately, there are just too many variables and they all don't seem in your favor. I wouldn't wait on this chick(no disrespect) and in the future i wouldn't get anyone emails without their permission. Its like a male friend who used to sex a female giving out her email so other guys can try to get with her (it may be a female who gave you the email) yet regardless the person didn't give it to you and even if they met out of curiosity you should just look for other females, at church, in the laundromat, at a club or other functions, social websites Facebook friends and try to engage one on one so the person is able to consent to wanting to BEFRIEND you or date you. Otherwise it can look "stalker-ish" and we all knows how that, much success my dude.

I believe honesty is the best policy. Some people have a hard time with that, but so what? An honest conversation is healing and provides a platform for trust. She may not have good skills in this area, or she may have out of town guests and is concentrating on accommodating them, or she may not be interested and has trouble speaking her truth. How do you know without asking? We are not mind readers and we don't know how other people feel sometimes. Good communication skills are so essential. At the very least you may find out if she has those skills. If not, go on to the next. You are developing your skills and that will pay off in future encounters. Good luck :-) Mari