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Dating after 40

Published on August 1, 2013 by 8902mastin

I started dating Brian immediately after my ex and I separated, married for 17 yrs. Brian and I started out as friends with benefits, and quickly went exclusive. We dated for about a year. We broke up because of communication issues - example: We went out to lunch once, and I was buying. He said he wanted mexican, I was celebrating and wanted to go to a different restaurant. I was driving, and I was paying so I went to the restaurant of my choice. Ended up in a big argument... Anyway we broke up, I started another relationship that lasted about 8 months, he dated a woman that lasted about 3 months. We stayed friends. When we were both single again we started up a friends with benefits relationship again. The sex is really really good! I have been doing online dating, and I would talk to him about my dates. He wasn't really dating for a while. Recently, he bought a new house, and is getting primary custody of his kids - he has been divorced for 4 years. I had been helping him pack, and out of the blue he says he wants to try a relationship with me. I am surprised, and say I don't know. After thinking about it, I thought he really should probably date more - wanted him to choose me because he cared about me, and not because he was lonely. Now I am regretting that answer, but he is taking the advice to date - sounds like there are 2 potential women. I am ok with him dating, don't like it but understand. However, I don't think we should continue a sexual relationship if we are seeing other people - this didn't bother him when I was dating, but it does bother me if we have the potential for a relationship. This is the question... Do I continue to date him and have a sexual relationship while he is dating other women? Do I continue to date him and we both date others without having a sexual relationship - this is really hard for both of us. Or, do I just walk away from this relationship entirely and just stay friends. I really like this guy, and would definitely like to have an exclusive relationship. Help!!

ANSWERS

Unless someone somewhere in the equation (you, him, one of the men/women you two are dating) asks for an exclusive relationship, you are okay to do as you like with him. The real question is, do YOU want an exclusive relationship with him? If so, you need to sit down with him and talk about it. Otherwise, he’ll stick to your advice and see other women.

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