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courage

Published on May 6, 2012 by tinamarie

im not sure where to start i was a single mother of 3 and i married a man widowed for a year he also had 3 children he was wonderful for about 6 months and then its like he replaced his wife of25 years with me my outgoing workaholic social life came to a screaching halt and now i cook and clean and do nothing he gets upset when i leave the house unless its something to do with kids or grocery shopping he quit his job 2 years ago and decided to drive a semi truck and only comes home once every 2 to 3 monthsso im left to take care of everthing how much longer will this marraige last i need courage to get my old life back or just accept things the way they are,maybe i desrve this lifestyle im not sure

ANSWERS

Have you talked with him about it? Let him know how you feel. Explain to him that you are not his ex wife. When he chose to marry you, he chose to accept you, not change you into something else. He should want you to be happy. If not, you have to decide whether you will continue to play the role he wants you to play or live your life the way you want. Good luck with everything.

Your life came to a screeching halt. He has to realize that you want to alter some things in this relationship. You might have to upset the boat a little bit. Have a heart to heart talk about it. You have cared for 3 kids and on your own. Maybe it's time to negotiate how the chores will be divided. Hey, 3 and 3. I think he needs to take a job that will bring him home more often so that he can look after his home duties as well as being Mr. freebird on the road. That's the practical side. The emotional side may be a little more difficult.

Why do you think you deserve this lifestyle? No one deserves what you have described. You need your own interests and not be chained to the house. No one has the right to tell you that you can't go out of the house or you have to do this and that. I would definitely suggest you find a therapist and ask your friends and family for encouragement for you to return to the person you used to be. There's no reason to be mistreated by anyone for any length of time. Your husband sounds awful and you definitely need to find support and have people there to help you find yourself again. Be good to you.

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