First, you need to think about why you are involved in this situation. Are you there as a colleague in ministry? Are you there because you feel attracted to him or love him? Are you there because he is confiding in you more than his wife, ex-wife or other person he is involved with? You need to carefully think this through even before you decide whether you should worry about why she is acting this way.
Another area to think about, as he and her are people of faith are some questions that are raised from their church involvement. How does he feel about grace? about humans making mistakes? What role does honoring our father and mother have to do with the decisions that have been made? How do the two of them feel about their wedding vows and God's role in their relationship? How do they think God viewed their divorce?
Once these questions are answered, then you can begin to look at why she is doing this. However, as a marriage counselor that works with Christian couples (see my site at www.SeekingShalom.org or my profile as a YourTango Expert) in New York, I find that addressing our issues of how spirituality can be integrated in the therapeutic process is vital for discovering peace and wholeness.
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