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Changed his mind - again

Published on April 20, 2014 by beatrice

I am dating a man who was very honest with me from the beginning that he had gone through a period of time where he questioned his sexuality. He was in a monogamous, heterosexual relationship for 22 years. The marriage had fallen apart and he felt it might be due to his sexual orientation. Sounds like he did everything "right." He sought professional counseling. He came out to his wife, their close circle of friends, important people at work and his children. They divorced. He wanted to lead an authentic life.

Fast forward several years. He has determined that his extreme unhappiness while married was NOT due to his sexual preference. He has been in more than one significant gay relationship and he did not feel comfortable. He is quite certain now that he is heterosexual.

Now how does he undo everything he has put in place so well? How does he begin to integrate me into his life when everyone important to him has become comfortable with him being gay?

We have made certain commitments to each other and I feel he is sincere, but I just don't' think one can just say to all those important people in his life, "Oh, sorry, forgot to tell you all. I changed back!"