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Can you forget how to orgasm through penetration?
So, here's the deal. I've been pretty frustrated with my sex life lately. None of my relationships over the past 4 years have given me sexual satisfaction in terms of non-clitoral stimulation. I don't mind clitoral stimulation, but it's not the rush you get from penetration orgasms.
Now, I was thinking that there might be something wrong with me, but I know I can achieve orgasms through penetration alone, because I've had one relationship, in which I/he never had to stimulate my clitoris at all. And I also know from self-experimentation that I'm ok in that department. I know that I like sex a little rougher and at a very 'steady' pace, but these days it seems the men I'm choosing are not able to keep that pace and like 'vanilla-sex', which they know doesn't get me anywhere. And to my disappointment, I seem to arouse them too much. So much in fact, that they can't last through the particular motions I like. Sex has never lasted longer than a minute or two in these 4 years.
So, have I maybe lost the ability to achieve orgasms with men? Is there a way to desensitize the man I'm with, so he can perform better? Sex just seems to be getting to the point where I have to be afraid that I can't come without helping myself...