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Can you forget how to orgasm through penetration?

Published on September 2, 2010 by 2surreal

So, here's the deal. I've been pretty frustrated with my sex life lately. None of my relationships over the past 4 years have given me sexual satisfaction in terms of non-clitoral stimulation. I don't mind clitoral stimulation, but it's not the rush you get from penetration orgasms.

Now, I was thinking that there might be something wrong with me, but I know I can achieve orgasms through penetration alone, because I've had one relationship, in which I/he never had to stimulate my clitoris at all. And I also know from self-experimentation that I'm ok in that department. I know that I like sex a little rougher and at a very 'steady' pace, but these days it seems the men I'm choosing are not able to keep that pace and like 'vanilla-sex', which they know doesn't get me anywhere. And to my disappointment, I seem to arouse them too much. So much in fact, that they can't last through the particular motions I like. Sex has never lasted longer than a minute or two in these 4 years.

So, have I maybe lost the ability to achieve orgasms with men? Is there a way to desensitize the man I'm with, so he can perform better? Sex just seems to be getting to the point where I have to be afraid that I can't come without helping myself...


I am 35 and have never experienced the kind of orgasms I have with the man I am with now. he explores and takes time to learn me and my body. I personally believe that the love we share for eachother has a huge role to play. we text each other sexy texts . we when we see each other we kiss and hug and graze agaisnt each other hours before we go to the bed. positions are very important to. have you tried climbing atop him and ride him very slowly as to hope to not make him orgasm. dont think about your orgasm just wait and feel simply feel move around slowly it will happen. take your time it may not happen be patient. gd luck

Thanks, Josephine! Your words were very encouraging.

I have tried almost all positions, but they are just not working out the way they are supposed to. And the weirdest thing is I never come on top of a man, except with my ex who could always make me come without extra stimulus. Very strange...

It might be the connection between the two partners. I guess I need to look for a passionate spark again. Thank you again :)