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Can a man be too loving?

Published on July 3, 2009 by scottjnsn

In some cases nowadays, couples break up because of the guy being too clingy, or being "in too deep". I am the type of person that when I fall, I fall hard. I have always been monagomous and loyal. I can't help it, it's in my mentality. I have been left before for being too attached. My intense devotion scared her I guess.. Her expectations from the relationship were probably different from mine. Despite my age (21) I am set on one person, and love the idea of settling down with them. I love the idea of having kids too, but now is not a proper time. I want to marry my love. Some people say I would be too young to know what I truly want, or understand what love is. Ive been through a lot with relationships, and am certain about what I want.

What I want out of a relationship is loyalty, communication, romance, trust, and affection. The need for affection can sometimes be interpreted as needing "attention" Sure, I love attention from my lover. But I understand it's limits, when it can become too demanding. I do not ever want my relationship to stagnate, and my partner to become bored with me. What I do is I try to create new ways to show my lover how much I care and admire them, and I expect that from them also. Is that a bad thing to desire? Is it overkill?

Please give me your thoughts. Thanks. =)


I don't think it is a bad thing. You're obviously an incurable romantic, and I love that in a man - so is my boyfriend. If you respect some boundaries and don´t become too dull, if you know what I mean, I don't think there is any problem.

One last thing, if you could give me some ideas to, like you said, "create new ways to show my lover how much I care and admire them", I'd really appreciate. I'm lacking inspiration... Thank you very much

I feel you, man. I'm the same way. I thnk that it's important that you maintain your sense of identity. Know who you are. You were an individual before you got involved, and you have to keep some things that you like to do exclusively, as should your mate. One of the biggest problems is when people become so wrapped up in each other that they seemed joined at the hip. You can show her love, but don't get to where it becomes "smoethering," if you know what I mean.

In reality Scott, all men are like you. Women are just too dumb to know it! And many men, in a protective mode, will deny their feelings and attachment to the woman they love, and generally act a fool which also alienates her and ruins the relationship as much as being too clingy.

What I suggest to guys is that they show attention and devotion certainly, but that they balance that with independence and an enjoyment of "my own life." That means you go out with your friends, you go on trips with your buddies, you do things alone, you don't tell her every single move you make, you don't call her everyday just "to talk", you don't seek her approval for much of anything, and you are decisive and strong.

Women do not respect men that are indecisive. We view such mean as weak spineless wienies. Such behaviors do not inspire a woman's respect or passion.

i think you are fantastic and im looking for a man like you, but cant seem to find one.