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Can I fall 'in love' with the man I am with?

Published on May 5, 2010 by ally

I am 35 years old and with a wonderful man, good looking, kind, caring, good love life and we get on so well. We have been togther on and off for 5 years. The issue is with me. I feel something is missing - i have discussed this with him and we have split up before due to this but we are drawn back togther. I would do anything to feel no anxiety about this relationship as I want it to work more than anything, but the more I think about where we are going and the future the more I panic. I love him in many many ways but can't overcome this panic and fear. I have discussed with parents and friends and even a therpist but can't really understand how to overcome this or even if I can!

I feel that maybe i am so picky or think there is something better but I know there really isn't. I don't want to lose something that could be perfect just cause I can't get rid of my relationship anxiety.


I think it's pretty normal to feel the way that you do because your relationship has been rocky in the past. The fact that you have broken up a few times in the past, leaves you to wonder if it'll happen again and question how stable the relationship actually is. I don't think that it's therapy that you need, unless you have an anxiety disorder that involves more than just relationships.

I think that you need to be able to talk to him about your fears and reservations and that he should openly welcome and comfort you and reassure you that you don't need to panic. If you cannot talk to each other about your fears and worries then how can you have a productive relationship? you need to be able to express yourself when you're concerned about something.