I think it depends on why you broke up with your girlfriend even after you have been together for nine years. If it was because of cheating, then the trust is already ruined and it would not work out if you two wanted different things out of life (in terms of jobs, kids, goals). However, if you just decided that it was wrong timing and the breakup was mutual, or that you wanted a few months apart to see if she really is the one and that you want no other, then I think it is safe to go back. I think you should wait a few more months and go on more dates to be sure. Just remember how and why you broke up with your girlfriend should be an indicator if you two should get back together.

DON'T get back together with her because you think you can't do any better. Things may be lonely now but your happiness down the road will be the most important.

Well in the past we broke up due to cheating and in the past there were trust issues. This breakup was more mutal as in which she is ready for marriage and I am thinking hmm is this really who i should spend my life with. Therefore i told her i will step away and not hold up her life. However i have been dating someone for 2-3 months and its great shes wonderful to me however i cant help but to miss my ex and think of her. i know she genuinely loves and cares for me. Also i fear what if i go months and if i want to go back to her by then she is involved. So thats my dilema

I think you get used to being around someone after 9 years in a relationship. So, it will not be so easy to not think about them. However, it does not necessarily mean you should go back to her. You need to look at what you are thinking about and missing exactly. Can you not find that in your new relationship? Are you missing the person or the relationship you had with her? If you are not sure your ex is the one for you after 9 years, why would you go back to her? It's not like you need more time to know if she is the right one for you.

Well I agree in regards to after 9yrs I should be sure that she is the one for me As for what I been thinking of is all the little things that I do now with this new person I remember how I use to do that with my ex.. I picture her being alone without me and I know how happy her world would be if we were to get back together.. Right now she says if it ain't marriage then what's the point. In which I do understand her position.. I am cheating the new person of all a me and that is beginning to show more and more. I really have to make a decision to go all in with her or go back to my ex and make things work..confused and frustrated looking for clarity

If you entered this new relationship too soon after leaving your ex, you may be feeling the effects of a Rebound. No matter how awesome this new girl is, if you did not take the time to be by yourself and figure out what you truly want and need, she will never be enough. Not to mention you will be compulsively comparing the two women and remembering your experiences with your ex, which is not fair to your new lady. It sounds like you've brought some unresolved baggage along to the new partnership. Does this mean you should get back together with your ex? Not necessarily. If your new girl is not Right for you, and subconsciously you recognize this, you may start remembering your ex more fondly. Nostalgia has a way of making the past seem rosier than it is, and the grass is always greener on the other side. Don't take the ex back because this new relationship is not exactly what you're looking for, or you don't want to be alone. There is a reason it didn't work out