Dear Treeshy,

It's not healthy to try and build a friendship with an ex if you aren't over them. You can't truly be friends because you'll be hoping for more. If your ex meets someone else while you still have feelings for him/her, it will be very painful for you. You also don't want to be his/her booty call because at some point, you'll feel like you're being used.

Instead of trying to build a friendship with your ex, it's healthier to work on healing yourself from this breakup. Once you're completely over him, you can build a friendship with him if it makes sense for you.

If you decide that it's better for you to move on, here are some helpful ways to do so at

With Love,

Janet Ong Zimmerman Relationship Coach

no not at all. even if your over him its a bit risky. can you really sit there and see him and his new gilfriend together. go on nights out and get drunk without throwing yourself at him? and when he sees your not over him and starts using you for a bit of fun and is giving you hope could you cope? you might think having im in your life is better than not having him there at all but that is seriously not the case the heart needs time to heal and for that you need to stay clear for a while.

Thank you for taking the time out to answer my question. it was very helpful even though it was something i didn't want to hear. i know that it is unhealthy to try and establish a friendship with an ex that you aren't over. it was just wishful thinking. thank you soo much again

thank you for taking the time out to reply to my question. it was just wishful thinking. and you were dead on when you mentioned thinking to have him in my life is better then not having him there at all. that is exactly what i said to him. now i know better and i know that it is a very unhealthy situation. thank you again for answering my question.

You're welcome, Treeshy. I'm glad to help. Take care of yourself, especially during this time.