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Boyfriends boss is obsessed with him.

Published on March 26, 2012 by lola333

My boyfriend's boss seems to be in love with or obsessed with him. He is a teacher at a high school and she is the principal. She is divorced.

Ever since she came to the school she has said and done some things that indicated she had more than a professional interest in him but this year it has gotten a lot worse.

She says things to him that are completely inappropriate, for example she has used the word love in his evaluation and in an email to him talking about how she loves his voice. She singles him out for hugs and goes to his meetings with his department when she should be mixing it up by going to other department meetings. He told me that she always sits next to him at meetings even when there are other seats available.

I volunteer on campus fixing computers. That is what I do. The real kicker is that about a
month ago she told him that I should not be allowed on campus in her opinion! The school is a public place and I have been going there for 3 years before she started working there with no problems. To my boyfriends credit he has told me about all of these things and has told me he is not attracted to her.

But now she is trying to get him to go to a technology conference with her for a week during the summer on his own time . He is a science teacher. She did not invite the computer teachers.

I am torn. I want him to do well at his work. He is in no danger of getting fired as he has worked there for 25 years but she has driven out some teachers she did not like. However, I do not feel comfortable with him going to a conference with her.

What should I do?


I think he should file a sexual harassment suit. Has he saved the emails? If she is consistently doing and saying things that make him uncomfortable, he needs to put a stop to it. He does not need to go to the conference because it will not help him teach his class. Tell him to let her know that one of the computer teachers would benefit more from going. He needs to record every incident and file a case against her. Men don't believe they can be sexually harassed, but they can.

Ask him to tell her that he is uncomfortable with hugs in the workplace. You have to tell someone to stop a non-sexual touch at least once before it's labeled sexual harassment. Tell him to sit between two other people at the table, so she can't sit next to him. He doesn't have to go to a conference if it's not mandatory. He can say no. He needs to be stronger with her and let her know he's not interested or available. She sounds like a disturbed person. If he doesn't give in to her, she may start making his life miserable by trying to oust him from his position.I don't know if there's enough there for a sexual harassment suit, but things are bound to come to a head sometime. Maybe he should consider working at another school.Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

This is pretty clearly inappropriate, but to file a sexual harassment suit? No that's asking to destroy your work reputation for the rest of your life. She is stepping over a lot of boundaries and being extremely unprofessional. But it says something about your boyfriend's boundaries too. He needs to be sure he brings up your name every day in passing conversation. I guarantee she'll get the message.

That's not true. In college, my husband's boss would make VERY inappropriate comments to him and made all of the other people around uncomfortable. She even tried to mandate group lunches on certain days so that she could have lunch with him. After an inappropriate email, I told him to file a lawsuit. He did and she was fired. Turns out, she was making advances on multiple employees. His reputation was not tarnished at all and he was promoted a few months later. People like that need to know that they cannot abuse their authority. They need to know there are boundaries in the workplace.

Good job! You and your husband were lucky. But if you do an internet search for "sexual harassment complaints ignored" you will see how common it it.

Was your husband's job in a large or small company? Publicly owned or private?