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Boyfriend is possibly bi or gay
I absolutely love my boyfriend we live together and have been talking more and more about marriage. There are things in our past that I struggle with still, usually more so around the time of my period. In the past I had found out he had hit up the girl he was dating before me, talking about how hot their sex was and asking her if she wanted to meet up. She blew him off I still am not sure if he would have followed through with it if the offer was there, he states that he never would have gone through with it. I also found out he was really into porn, to the point he was going on sites and commenting on how amazing all of these different women look. I have struggled with self-esteem issues for most of my life and really struggle that he felt he needed this extra stimulation when he tells me our sex is the most intense and best he has ever had. He has since I found out completely stopped looking at all of the sites and has given me access to his facebook in order to help me feel more secure in the relationship. I know so far this sounds very much like he is definitely a straight male with a high sexual appetite. However, I have snooped further into his past pre-me and found she-male porn as well. At first I was extremely shocked and figured it was a joke between him and his friends, I did ask him about it though. At first he didn't seem willing to talk about it, but then in the same night he confessed that he really liked to look at it before and that it really turned him on. He said he doesn't look at it anymore but also confessed to me that when he was a teenager he experimented with gay sex and said he didn't like it, that it is in the past and he isn't sexually attracted to males. The reason I am nervous is because I'm afraid he is just hiding his feelings and really is into guys and covering it up. I also found in his email pre-me responses to craigslist m4m adds where he had sent nude pics to guys asking if they wanted to hook up and stating things like your dick looks tasty. These emails were pre-me but they were back in 2011. He is 32 right now so it is obvious interest after his teenage exploration. Whenever I try to talk to him and ask him about him possibly liking guys he gets really upset with me and says he never should have told me about it. I'm not sure what to do I really love him and we make each other really happy, I'm just afraid we will get married live a happy life and down the road he will confess he is really gay and I'm just not what he wants.