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being in love with a best friend

Published on April 9, 2012 by sheillas.s.m

hi, I'm 20 years old and recently it hits me i love my best friend, how i know for about 5 years. now, i never had a boyfriend because i had too mach going in my life. in the teen age i fell lots of time in live but it all past after a while.he is vwry nice to me, and even that he is still in the army, most of his time off he wan to spand with me in the other hand, times that we Schedule a meeting, he would go with our friend without me or even telling me about it. so I'm not so sure if to say him i love him because: A. i Afraid he say no and it destroy our connection B. he'll say yes even if he doesn't wont it just not to hurt me because he is too good. C.he was a boyfriend with a girl friend and they broke up & I'm afraid he will think I'm using him somehow D. he is a bit Feminine so maybe he is in the other side? E. if he wanted a relationship, he would say something, isn't it? hope for a fast answer

ANSWERS

Ask yourself, why you are suddenly attracted to him? Are you lonely? Is this a spell that may pass? If not, you and your friend may need to have a talk about your feelings. However, if he's not putting off the same signals as you, i.e. doesn't feel that his world revolves around you, can't live without you, then hold on the chat.

Things get much more complicated if you spill. Try dating someone else and see how that makes you feel. Sometimes, it's nice to get caught up in the moment but it can really wreck a great friendship. When the moment is over and sanity returns, you're left with this half-open, half-awkward friendship; suddenly, you may see that divulging your feelings wasn't the best move afterall.

Keep reading the clues and see what he is telling you before you make a move. Meanwhile, don't wait around on him. Move on and start dating. Only then, you may come to the realozation that your feelings weren't real. Even if they are, if he doesn't return your love, you could still be hurt by it all.

I've read what you shared and can offer some advice on how to approach the subject. If he is truly your "friend" as you say, you can open up a conversation about "relationships". Perhaps you share with him that you have been thinking about dating and would like his opinion? See what his reaction to this is like. If he is excited for you, it's a great indicator that he is NOT interested in you or shares he same feelings. You can also turn it around to ask HIM, what are HIS relationship goals and how does HE feel about dating someone? If he DID, what would be looking for in his ideal partner? If he describes someone who is exactly like you, you now may have an understanding of what he really wants, if anything at all.

When you want to learn something about someone you ask the right questions. Talking about your relationship goals or his relationship goals can be quite revealing. You can suggest that you both make up a list of things that each of you would want from a partner and compare notes. You will find this excercise very telling!

Good Luck :D

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