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Beginner troubles

Published on October 20, 2013 by alice014

I am not a virgin but I'm not very experienced. I'm really stressed because whenever I try to ride my boyfriend I can't get it in. I really don't know why. It's like trying to push through a wall. Can I just not find it when I'm on top or do I need more foreplay? We have tried a couple times and I'm feeling very desperate and embarrassed... I want to keep trying but I'm losing hope... Any advice? I feel like a clueless teenager asking this it's so embarrassing but how do I get it in? How do I lead him into my vagina? What's wrong with me?


Hello Alice014, Thank you for being so brave to ask this important question. I know you're not the only person who has this same problem. Often we think we should just 'know' how to have sex and that isn't the case at all. Just like everything else in life it gets better with knowledge and practice.

For my answer I'm going to assume you can comfortably have intercourse when you're laying down.

Having intercourse with the woman on top can be very sexy, sensual and satisfying for both of you and because it's not working smoothly for you I can certainly understand your frustration. You mentioned the first important point - you need to be well lubricated (actually for all types of intercourse)and he needs to be very hard. Do you know what gets you excited? Where he needs to touch you, how long, pressure, etc. Words you like to hear and/or say? Ways you touch him that excite you? You can also include a vaginal lubricant on him and on you to insure you're wet enough. Because you've felt unsuccessful in the past including some additional foreplay (being relaxed is very important)could be very helpful.

If the position you've tried as you straddle him is you facing him try putting your back to him. Place your body above him over the top of his pelvic bone, hold the head of his penis against your vaginal opening and slowly move your knees forward. When you become more comfortable with this position try it next time facing him. When you're straddling him you both have easy access to all those wonderful erotic parts. You can gently massage his balls, he can stroke your body and stimulate your clitoris. It truly opens up a new world of possibilities.

I do hope this is helpful. Please let me know.

Coach Christine

More foreplay would probably do the trick. Guys get harder, girls get wetter. Makes it all more easy AND enjoyable. You could also try a lubricant. Don't get discouraged or be embarrassed, every ones new at something at one point in their life. Good luck. Happy sexing!