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Beauty in the eye of the beholder?

Published on September 3, 2010 by leia_147

I have recently started dating again, signed up on a dating site, etc... Only problem is, I'm overweight and quite embarrassed to actually meet these guys in person. Chatting online we get on great, but I fear they will reject the physical appearance when they meet me face to "fat" so to say. I generally overcompensate by giving in to sex too soon thinking that maybe that will get 'em hooked... but it never lasts - obviously. I know one should wait, but I just always want to please people and sometimes I give in because I would like to be in a relationship that even that fleeting contact is probably better than nothing. But I always loathe myself after. Some good advice?


Hello Leia_147, thank you for being honest and stating the problem that you are experiencing in the dating arena. The first thing you need to do is to learn to accept yourself. In order to accept and love others you must first accept and love yourself. If you don't learn how to accept and love yourself you will spend all of your life in a state of worthlessness and emptiness. Seeking for someone to fill the void in your life that must be filled first by God and then by acceptance of yourself. No one can make you feel whole, you must allow God to heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds and then accept the finished work of Christ for your life, for he said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find REST UNTO YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28

Your unacceptable attitude and feeling of emptiness may be as a result of the many things which you have been through in relationships. However, you must put the past behind you and begin "casting all your cares upon him; for he careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7 Before you even begin to even look for or invite your Soul Mate into your life you must accept yourself and become whole or you will bring chaos and confusion into your next relationship. No one can make you whole while you're yet broken and any attempt to bring completion out of disarray will only end up in pandemonium. (this information come from our book entitled: Soul Mate or Just Another Date--The chapter entitled "Self Acceptance and Wholeness."

In reference to "beauty being in the eye of the beholder" that is a very true statement and to resolved this you can do one of two things:

  1. You can lose weight and begin to put yourself of a true weight loss program.

  2. You can learn to love yourself just as you are, because until you love you no one else will love you.

There is a person out there for you that will love you for you once you begin to love yourself. There is a person that is perfect for you in physical attraction and that physical attraction adds a whole new meaning to the connection and attraction that you will feel for one another. Remember, you don't have to settle for any old relationship, you can have the relationship of your dreams and meet not just another date but your TRUE SOUL MATE.

Check out our website and our book entitled: "Soul Mate or Just Another Date" the information that is given here comes from that book. We love you and want to see you happy and complete in your relationship life. However, God loves you more and he has the perfect plan and relationship for you!!!!