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Baby Daddy Drama

Published on November 12, 2013 by confusion14

Hello all! I've recently started dating a wonderful mother of two children. We've been dating for about 5 months with no problems. However, I've been feeling kind of uneasy about her baby's father. A few months ago (before we really got serious) her baby's father and his mother stayed over my gf's house for about a week. I was upset, but didn't give too much of a fuss about it. She said that she's completely over him and he only visits for his kid. I gave her the benefit of doubt. But now, she's told me that he and his mom are visiting yet again for a week over Thanksgiving break. I really hate to sound insecure, but should I really feel like this if I completely trust her, or is it more than meets the eye? I've never met her baby's father or his mother, though she claims that she told them already about me? What should I do?

ANSWERS

Dear Confusion14,

Is it weird that he's staying over? Yes.

At this point, if you have met her children already, more than once, than there's no reason you shouldn't meet the children's father if he has an active role in their life, especially if she has told them about you already.

If she refuses to allow you to meet him, then I would definitely be seeing red flags. I would talk to her and have her outline the parameters of her relationship with the children's father currently. Since he is their father, it is reasonable for he and their grandmother to visit. I'm not sure why they need to spend the night though, did the city run out of hotels? Do they live that far away? Was he sleeping over before you and she started dating? Where does he sleep? In a guest room? There may be some circumstances in which it's acceptable, but it sounds a little suspicious.

What would happen if she were remarried? Would he still be staying over? Maybe the two of you need to outline some boundaries around this if you two are getting serious. This will be helpful for the children as well.

-YourTango Expert

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