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Are older men worth it? (Our age gap is 13.5 years)

Published on July 8, 2009 by tropicalnut

Here's a pickle....I've been in a sexless marriage for a few years. We are both in our early 30's and have grown up together....dated for about 7 years, married for less than 5. My husband never showed me a lot of love and we were always on different sleeping patterns, go figure, so I always heard all of the excuses for not having sex...he's too tired, it's too late, blah, blah, blah.... I knew when I married him that we didn't really have any chemistry, but thought that security and stability was worth more. I am a VERY passionate person and I have had chemistry and mind blowing sex with other guys I dated before him. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that I need sex and I need the chemistry!! After a trial separation of a few months, we hurried back together....and six months later I asked for a divorce.

3 months later we signed the papers and now I'm dating someone 13 years older and it is the BEST! He is a MAN and treats me with respect and shows so much love, I feel as though I am spoiled, but I'm also a giver, so it goes both ways.

The ONLY problem that I've encountered is other people.....other people at times stare at us and I can't lie, it does bother me sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes and I can't kick that feeling. He is in his mid 40's, I am in my early 30's. He's not a "looker" per say, and I look like a model in my mid 20's. So what can I do or not do to get over that stupid akward feeling when people stare? I love him deeply, no one else has ever "gotten" me the way he does and the connection is unbelievable, not to mention the love making.... !!! :) I'm confused at times because I would love to be with someone my age, but they are too immature, not to mention that I already have a child and really don't want to go down that path again....I want to enjoy life, now that my child is getting older. So confused....

ANSWERS

okay hunnie just take a deep breath here... you're happy, what's the problem? I get that you are worried about what other people think and how uncomfortable it makes you when they stare... but you need to just tell yourself "so what!?" My boyfriend is 31 years older than me... trust me, we get a lot more stares than you do. And ontop of that we're different races. So, just be happy. Enjoy your happiness because it's rare in life. That's all I've been doing. Enjoying the happiness.

Yes, older man are worth it. If you love him as much as you claim, I think your only choice is to try to ignore other people. I understand that you feel unconfortable with the staring, but a man that wonderful deserves a shot. You could also try to talk to him about that, and see what he feels about it. Maybe you can even figure something out as a couple :)

Im early 20's and YES, they are worth it, even @ my age. Trust, I had to learn to buck up a lilttle, cuz they are more forward/honest than younger guys. The outcome of my experiences was me noticing the DISTINCT difference between how an older man approcahes sexual relationhips, than a younger man.

Without giving too much away, its always best to literally sit down and TALK about your expericences, or what you'd LIKE to experience. Im attracted to older men simply becuz there aren't as many "wild guesses" to make, as far as how and if he's REALLY diggin me, and where its going. Also, the challenge, and reward for me, comes in the form of a 'sleepy sheet race'....lets see who's fallin asleep this time....

FIERCE_09

Don't worry what other people think! Just as long as you are happy! My Husband of 3yrs is 15 yrs. older than me! Age is just a number! We both have the same intrest and get along great!

I have an older man. I have always preferred older men, ALWAYS! Because #1 they are certainly much better lovers. #2 They are usually established and have a lot more to offer you. They are able to wine and dine and pamper you. #3 Since you claim to not want any more children an older gentleman is more likely on the same page as you there. Older men have so much to offer. I find that their experience and knowledge is a turn on. I love a man I can learn something from and actually have an interesting and intelligent conversation with.
You should never be embarrassed to be seen with your man. And if you are that sure isnt fair to him cause I'm sure he dosent feel that way with you. Trust me me and my man get stared at and second glances all the time. I find it simply amusing. I'm 32 and he is 50.
You said it yourself, you needed chemistry with someone the whole time you were with your ex the chemistry was not there. Now, you have that with this man. You have that chemistry that you desired so badly, and a couple odd glances from who cares is really bothering you? Be proud to be seen with him. And if other people walk past wondering if he is your sugar daddy, you stand up straight, hold his hand, stick your boobs out there and keep walking and smiling. You got a great thing. go with it!

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