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Are Men interested in someone with a chronic illness?

Published on February 6, 2010 by solitaire

I'm a retired RN in my early 50's, and live on a long-term disability policy due to chronic illness; I work very hard to keep in check. It is not an emotional issue but physical -Mixed connective tissue disease.(lupus & gastroparesis) I am divorced because my husband did not want a sick wife. He was a doctor. We divorced in our 5th year of marriage, shortly after I was diagnosed with lupus. I am independent, own my own home, no kids, however with new drugs and treatments I am able to live a pretty normal life. However I can not work due to the autoimmune response kicks in when it wants to and does not make me a reliable worker. I have tried to return to work several times in different occupations. I am personable and sincere, and certainly not dead! I swim daily, do yoga and eat more healthy than the average individual. I volunteer on a regular basis.


The only honest answer to this question is yes. A man can absolutely be attracted to, involved with, and in love with a woman with terminal illness. That being said, it is an unorthodox circumstance for a relationship to start from such circumstances.

First of all, being involved with anyone who suffers from terminal illness is immediately self reflecting. Most people spend the vast majority of their time trying not to think about death. When someone loves another person however, and they are terminally ill, we face with mortality and inevitability on a daily basis. That is likely the most intimidating factor to a man.

That being said, a mature man, one whom faces and accepts life for what it is, and who possesses an ability to live in the "now" can, and will, fall in love with the woman, not the illness. Perhaps your biggest issue is that you need to find a mature man, one whom is able to accept that the most important facet of life is how you live it, and not when it ends.

In that regard, you likely face the same obstacle most women do; finding a mature man capable of loving you for who you are. The truth is, most of us men are so focused on what we expect life to be, that we fail in accepting life for what it is. I wish you good health and good fortune moving forward, and genuinely hope you find a man worthy of sharing your life with.