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Annoyed For No Reason

Published on January 19, 2014 by cellar_door

I would like to remain anonymous please. :)

I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for about 7 months now. He is incredibly kind, caring, supportive, and affectionate, and I know I'm very lucky to have him. I know I love him, but some days I wake up and literally cannot stand anything he does. The sound of him eating will annoy me. The little jokes he will make annoy me. The way he constantly wants to cuddle me annoys me. He can never give me a short, sweet kiss, but insists on either kissing me upwards of 6 times in a row, or kissing me for like 30 seconds straight. I have never been a super affectionate person, so when he is this affectionate it is obnoxious to me, and when I'm already annoyed with him it drives me crazy. After I spend the entire day being bothered by these things, I have a terrible time sleeping because he wakes me up multiple times a night trying to spoon me or rub my stomach or something.

I know everything he does is done with good intentions, and he only wants to show me he loves me, but when he is this cuddly/kissy for days on end, I end up being bothered by his mere existence, and have to take a few days to myself before I can be around him again. I also know I really value my alone time, which is surely accountable for some of my desire to be away from him. After a few days to myself I do start to miss him, and I remember again just how much I love him and why I love him.

So many women would kill to have what I have, and I feel like I struggle to even appreciate it some days because it irks me so badly. I might also mention that, although for different reasons, this overpowering feeling of annoyance has accompanied every relationship I've been in around the 7-8 month mark. Is there a reason this always happens to me? I worry that I'm doing something wrong. If all of my relationships end up this way, I feel there is no possible way I could ever live with someone, or marry someone.

ANSWERS

I dont know about you, but ive been hurt alot in the past by guys which makes me pissed off even when i think about it and not want to be touched or anything.had that problem with my ex bf. Maybie its because your a lot more "mature" in that kind of way, or your insurance that someone could be watching and if he's doing it in public I can see why you feel annoyed, just straight tell him tonkeep it down alil bit, be more outgoing with him.

The 7-8 month mark like you describe can be a hard milestone. The "annoyed with everything" thing used to happen to me around this time as well, and I'm an introvert who needs my space.

I eventually learned that the best thing to do for me was to just put a little distance in the relationship. This is the time to become passionately involved in a hobby! Not at the exclusion of your relationship, but in addition to. The 7-8 month mark is where the annoying stuff that you could ignore just fine in the first few months starts to really get annoying. It's a phase, however.

Honor your limits. It's okay to not want to be kissy and cuddly all the time. It's also okay to explain to him gently that you respond well to a little bit more restraint. Often people try and do things in relationships that they hope the other person will really like.

Have you sat him down and compassionately explained that you really enjoy his company but could use a little less volume of affection?

Also, catch him doing it the way you prefer and does it the way you want. Something like "I really love it when you just kiss me the one time, I really like that."

-Elizabeth http://www.yourtango.com/experts/elizabethstone

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