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Am I still gay?

Published on May 24, 2012 by lovequest

I am considering myself an openly gay man, who is attracted to the biological males.

But, while I am still not sexually and romantically attracted to the biological females, very recently I have met and got intimately involved with both FTMs (female to male) and MTFs (male to female) with and without SRS, and I have enjoyed the connection and had an attraction as much as with a biological males. Although I do not like using the labels, that confused me a bit.

Am I still gay, or there is another, more correct term to describe this type of sexual orientation and/or preference?


We're not experts on LGBT issues, but from what you write, it sounds like you could possibly be bisexual. Labels can be helpful and they can also be a source of confusion and can box a person in. Listen to your heart. Who are you attracted to and who you do enjoy spending intimate time with -- you can ask yourself this on a person by person basis instead of drawing a line and saying that you "only" like men, women, FTMs or MTFs, etc.

Most important is that you are having healthy and satisfying romantic interactions with others!

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins

Human sexual attraction is fluid and for some of us changes over time. The attraction to FTMs and MTFs is probably more about sexual preference then sexual orientation. For someone with a good heart your attraction is more about who the person is then how they dress or what gender they portray. For you, your sexual preference and sexual orientation may not be the same.

If you'd like to explore this in a deeper way you can contact me through my website at I'm happy to talk, skype or meet in person if that's possible.