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Am I just being jealous? Or is something wrong here?
I need advice. My gf is in her mid-20s. I'm 30. We have been dating for 6 months. Is this incident just bad timing and I'm reading way too much into it, or is it a red flag of something bad? Friday night we watched an early movie at my place and had sex. We were tired and she was about to have a shower and get ready for bed and then suddenly asks if I would mind if she "meets some friends for a drink" at a nearby coffee shop. She was vague about it. I said I didn't mind but just found it strange since we were already almost asleep. She said she was sorry and didn't mean to be ditching me. I was tired from studying all day (have a professional exam coming up) and from the sex but tried to seem interested in going out for a quick beer. She seemed awkward about it (me coming). I assumed at the time it was because I was tired and she didn't want to drag me out for a drink. Anyway we get there first and the "friends" that show up are only one guy (a former college classmate of hers who lives in a different city and was in town for the weekend). Apparently he texted her and asked if she wanted to meet for a drink. We hang out and chat and share a couple beers together. I don't really know if he was hanging out with more friends before he met us at the coffee shop (i.e. I don’t know if she intended to misrepresent him being “friends”). As we leave I assume we'd walk back down the street to my condo and him to his car, but on her lead she asks where he parked and all three of us walk to where his car is parked. On the way she asks him "Do you have keys to your place?" and he says no ("his place" is his parents house, where he lived while going to college). So then she says "OK you can sleep on my couch". She explains this to me semi-privately in more detail as we're getting in the car and asks if I'm ok with it. I said something to the effect it seems weird he doesn't have keys to his own place but of course that's fine with me. She had left her purse (with her apartment keys) at my place so he parks in my building's loading zone, her and I go up to my suite and she gets her keys. We both go down and then she starts to say good night to me but I act like I'm getting into the car. She then says "oh, you're coming?" and I say "yes, of course." We arrive at her apartment in 5 minutes (she lives very close to me). We all hang out on the sofa and chat for a few minutes. And then he says something to effect "don't let me keep you two up if you're tired". It was about 12:30am now. I say something to the effect that it's late and we should go to bed soon. I ask him if he would like a blanket or something for the sofa and he says no he's fine, which I thought was strange (who likes to sleep without a blanket?) During the conversation we talk about a downtown farmer's market that is nearby and we’ve been planning to go for a while now. I suggest her and I should go there tomorrow morning. She agrees and asks if I would like to meet her at about 8-9am tomorrow to go to it. I don't really respond since to me it seems ridiculous I would leave at this point. I take off my jacket and hang it on a chair in the kitchen, get a drink of water for each of us, and then say goodnight to the guy and then walk into her bedroom. She then gets him a blanket and gives it to him on the couch, and comes to her room a minute later. At this point I confront her and say I think she is acting weird and making me feel uncomfortable. She seems genuinely confused and contends there is no issue. I disagree and say, “no, this is weird.” We then have a soft-spoken and direct conversation in bed about it. Not a loud fight or anything. I tell her the whole thing just seems so ridiculous. I say it was like as soon as this guy wanted to meet for a drink to catch up (they haven’t seen each other in about a year), it was like she just wanted to go without telling me much of anything about it, and then seemed to be trying to get rid of me at the end of the night. I said to me it seemed really ridiculous that she would expect me to leave and walk back to my place almost immediately after the three of us went to hers. There would be no logical reason why I would do that. She responded that she didn’t know if I would feel comfortable staying over in this situation. We talked it through and she basically admitted that it was reasonable for me to feel weird given how vague she was being about the situation and agreed that we should just communicate better to prevent those sorts of feelings from brewing. I basically told her what would be wrong with her saying, “hey a former classmate just texted me and is town tonight. I haven’t seen him for a year and really want to meet for a beer and see how he’s doing. Do you want to come for a quick one? Or do you mind if I go quickly by myself?” And she agreed that would have been much better. My basic take on this whole night is that I felt like I was forced into suspicion or at least asking questions because she was cutting me out of the loop. I told her I trusted her and don’t think she would ever do something like that (she is rather conservative socially and I can tell that in bed she is a little inexperienced). I think generally speaking she is shy about her personal life and she has told me other friends and colleagues have said she’s quite private about her different groups of friends. Is this just a case of her being shy and private (and maybe uncomfortable having me sleep in her bed with her friend/colleague in the next room, and so wanted me to go, but didn’t want to tell me to go)? Or is this a warning sign that she’s interested in this guy or is the type of person who cheats? I asked her if her and this guy used to date and she didn’t really answer. I suspect she liked him when they went to school together. Either way I feel like I need to lay down some boundaries about how she can interact with me. I feel like I need to be assertive. I just don’t want to be the jealous boyfriend and drive her away, because I see a lot of potential with our relationship. We recently met each other’s parents and everything went well. That’s part of the reason why I am so confused by how she acted this night.