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Am i just a booty call? Or can this actually work out?

Published on November 16, 2013 by bethany1234

So theirs this guy who ive known for years. When i first met him he was dating my best friend and usually when they would hang i would be the third wheel because id usually be an excuse for her mom to let her go out ( so she can see him) and me being her friend id agree. (This was when we were younger :p) anyways i starting talking to him more and more eventually he became a really good friend and from their i kinda started having a crush on him. So we started hanging out togeither at the park because we lived by each other. And we'd flirt but we never kissed or made out. Eventually i felt bad because i felt in a way i was cheating on my friend. I never admitted to him that i had a crush on him and he never said anything to me either. So eventually i stopped talking to him and he and my friend got closer. They ended up dating for 2 years and a couple months. I stopped having that little crush on him as soon as i stopped talking to him. During those years they were dating i had my first long term bf. eventually we broke up after a year and soon i started dating someone else. He was the first boyfriend i introduced to my parents, hed sleep over, first guy i actually started doing bf/gf stuff with. With the guy before him even tho we dated for a year we never ever went on dates nor did i introduce him to my oarents as my bf. anyways so with the guy i was with currently it was great, but eventually a sit load of problems started happening. Yet throughout all that ( his mom disliking me, my aunt being so gossipy and causing problems because she knew his mom, etc) we were back to ok for a while. I loved him more then he loved me, he just was in it for the sex, and i would give it to him because during sex was the only way he actually showed "affection" to me. Eventually i started skipping school and i would be out very late. I was so caught up in him because i loved him so much. After out relationship got worse and one day i kind of woke up and had the guts to break with him. He didnt have anytime for me since he worked from 2:30 to 11:00. We never saw each other anymore and hed always say he got bored of me even tho we'd BARELY see each other. I was soo stupid, and i realized i will keep on being stupid if i continue to be with him. So i ended it. That relationship was an emotionally roller coaster. Ok so while i was dealing with what his face the guy i had a crush on who was dating my friend ended up cheating on my friend (he kissed another chick) and he She eventually found out and confronted him about it and he kept denying it. 3 months later he couldnt take the guilt And he told her. She was heart broken and ended it quickly. He still loved her but yet he dated some other chick ( a rebound) he did like her but she was mostly a rebound. Even tho he was wit her hed text my friend " she ever wanted him back hed leave the other girl and come right back to her." But my friend told him that shes over him and that she would never allow him to do that to her aka the rebound. Eventually he broke up with the rebound. The rebound was so in love with him that she begged him to stay and even wanted him to take her virginity. Well he took her virginity but after that eventually they both parted ways knowing it wasnt going to work out. Plus he felt sorry about taking her virginity, he told her it wasnt right, it was both of their faults, her for begging for it and him for actually taking it. So basically the only reason he cheated on my friend was because she wasnt showing any affection to him she stopped kissing him and trying to see him. (In my recent realtionship i was also expiriencing the same thing) so i knew where he was coming from. We just recently reconnected again, i called him out of the blue because we were texting and he offered to pick me up because i wanted to leave ( my parents were arguing) and he picked me up and we went to run some errand my mom needed. And instead of going home i stayed with him talking (every time we talk we talk like great friends) i knew from the look in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me. Eventually i was against the wall ( we were at his house but outside) and he kept trying to kiss me, ive always been very very shy around him hes the only guy ive ever met that ive been extremly shy around even though i can tell him anything. And i kept teasing him and turning left and right. (i recently had just broken up with my ex who i still had feelings for even tho i was stupid for him and he treated me like crap). Ok so i made out with him, eventually we drove to an empty parking lot and we were just making out and thats when he admitted that he had a crush on me since we first met and that i was so crazy and wild and super funny and so beautiful. He had these little fantasies about us being togeither. ( not in a creepy way) and i was so shocked hearing this! He said he never would of thought that him and my friend would have even lasted that long. Even tho he was dating her hed think of me but he didnt want to hurt my friend. So when we stopped talking he decided it was best to get over me ( i did the same) and thats how they got closer. He was saying all the right things at that moment. And we were both so deseperate for affection and the "loving" feeling. We ended up having sex. That night i had the most passionate sex i have ever had in my life. I was craving that feeling for so long. For once in a long time i felt happy.. (I recently was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder) after it was over we were dressing. And i was in shock at what happened i would of never have thought i would of had sex with him. And at how passionate and how much i wanted that feeling of being wanted. I tried to avoid eye contact but eveytime i looked at him hed be starring at me with the same passion in his eyes (i could tell he was shocked too) he kept giving me these lustful kisses . Well eventually he dropped me home. When i got home i cried my eyes out after being alone and realizing what i had done and the whole time i did it with him it i loved it he was perfect but i imagined my ex the whole time. i imagined it was him showing me this much love. the loce i wanted so badly from him... well then We kept texting eachother and hed text me good morning every morning and hed text me ever chance he got. He is very busy with school And work and community service hes in college orchestra etc. and im doing online schooling ( because of my phobia a d depression) my parents are in a middle of a heated divorce aswell. I told him i wasnt looking for a relationship right now because i have alot of issues going on right now and he said hed wait for me. He said its ok if hed wait because it would make it all the better. ( after that passionate night days later we did it again but havnt done it since) originally i wanted to just have sex with him but the more i talked to him the more i started having feelings for him so i asked him if he was still waiting for me and he said yes and no. No because he has so much on his plate nd doesnt have time for a relationship. I said ok and at that moment i told himthen we cant keep having sex with each other. Because we have talked of us being togeither and i know that good relationships dont start with sex then id be a booty call to him so if i wanted is to be real no sex. And i told him i couldnt text or hang with him much because then my feeling for him will grow (i fall in love easily) and we both cant be in a realtionship right now plus i dont want to get hurt. By me falling more in love with him ( like my last relationship) so he understood was was caring about it. We still text. But idk if what i said was the right thing? Do me and him have a chance of being in a relationship? He thought about us being togeither since we first met. And im being extra cautious. Plus im dealing with my social anxiety and depression and my therapist said ill need to take medication for them. Idk what to do, should i persue the chance of me. And him being togeither or just walk away from this. By the way he had a booty call they were each other booty calls but after that night with me he hasnt contacted her or slept with her. He ddnt like her he only wanted her for sex. Im also afraid that if hes even capable of being in a relationship because he has cheated and has had a booty call and is a big flirt. But ive know hi for years more then all those other girls and hes told me that he doesnt trust anyone but me and he also told me before that im the best one hes done it with. And that he truly cars for me. I know he cares for me by the way he talks etc. so what should i do?

ANSWERS

Hi sorry for your depression and axiety problem hope you feel better soon.......well to be honest i think you should give it a try you have strong feelings for him and he does too so i don't see the harm and if it does not work out oh well we learn from our mistakes right who knows maybe he sould be mr. right you never know unless you try and due to you depression problem it will only get worse if you over think and all that don't think just do.....go for it maybe it will make you happier being with someone you wanted to be with for a long time i don't see the harm in trying if you like someone they deserve to know about it and not all guys are the same you still have feelings for your ex maybe you will get over him by having someone new,right! and i can tell you really like him so go for it if i were you i would

What a story. One thing: you both need time to heal and take things slow. I applaud you for being honest with him about dealing with your issues. Depression and anxiety is tough to deal with. Both of you are on the rebound and have a whirlwind of emotions. I would suggest concentrating on what makes you happy. There is a common misconception that the people in your life are responsible for your own personal happiness. That is not the case. It is what you do. School is a great start, but go further. Get involved with an activity or group. Your therapist has probably said to you activity trumps depression. Discover more about yourself and nurture the relationship you have with this childhood friend. You'll be growing and strengthening yourself for you and the relationship. If you concentrate on making your world better for you and others in it, it will be better. You will shine in your own way ;). As a result, you will figure out what is right for you even if this relationship doesn't work out.

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