You need to add some excitement to your relationship. The kids come first but your relationship is right up there. Create a win/win situation and add small things you can do with her throughout the week that will change the routine. Get a sitter, surprise her, do something! Just because you have kids that doesn't mean you give up your life, make it work so everyone is taken care of and is happy. I am a single mother and I still have a life. Many ask me how I do it, I just say I do. I make it work. If I want or need to go out I plan a play date, sleepover or get a sitter. You both have to be willing to do something to change the status quo. Talk to her about how important the relationship is to you and come up with a strategy.