0 0


21-yo male that has never kissed

Published on March 4, 2010 by gustavonakamura

When I was younger, I was that fat boy everybody bullied at school. I guess it's a bit expectable for anyone to think of the psychological consequences of this bullying: extremely low self-esteem, kinda agoraphobic. IMHO, the main problem is that I "lost" that period of early teens, when we discover ourselves and each other as "sexual individuals", all that "good anxiety" about the first kiss, the first date, etc. Two or three years ago, I managed to lose a lot of weight (before 109 kg, now 88 kg, 1.85 m tall. Fit but not athletical). I think I flattened that much because I left my parents' home in order to study at a very famous college here in Brazil (yes, I'm Brazilian, if it matters), and I've been paying more attention to what I eat since then and because now I attend gym classes. Anyway, now I feel a bit better about my body, at least. But all the ghosts from the past still haunts my mind. For example, when I go to college parties, I don't even know how to "approach" the girls at all, as I "lost" the "learning period" I told before. After, when I go back home from those parties, I feel so sad, thinking that I'll be forever left behind, in matters of love and relationship. And then I think: next year, I'll be a engineer! An ADULT with a job. And no "experience" at all! One may say that "time heals", that someone might appear in my life when I least expect, etc. I am tired of hearing it from my friends. After all, I am 21, and I have never even kissed. As time flows, my life story gets nearer and nearer from that movie "40-year-old virgin", and even worse - 40-yo-"lip-virgin" (I don't know if English speakers have a slang for this, but we do have in Brazilian Portuguese, which I literally translated here). Not that I am desperate to all those things desperate women think: have a family, bring up children, etc. But thinking of being left behind hurts a lot, doesn't it?

Am I really hopelessly destined to be single until the grave?


I think are you handicapping yourself. It sounds like in your mind you have excuses (or reasons) why you haven't any "experience." Truthfully, it doesn't matter how old you are, everyone goes through socially awkward phases and some don't get over it until way into their 20's. As long as you feel good about yourself, which it sounds like you do, you should have enough confidence to talk to other people. If you're so focused on what went wrong in your youth you won't be able to just be yourself. When you meet a girl you like, don't think about being a "lip-virgin" but instead try to focus on what you like about her.