Asked by ex-factor on
Give Advice: I'm Dating Two Different Men
I started dating this one guy, and apparently he was going through some hard times, and I was never notified of this. We went out briefly (a month and a half). He wasn't really paying attention to me as he had some intense things going on his life, like I said.
Anyways, so I decided that I wasn't going to see him anymore, then quickly got into another relationship. I've been going out with this guy for about a month now, everything was going pretty good, although the ex wanted to be my friend still so we still talked. But then the ex started to tell me his true feelings and what he actually went through, which is the reason why our relationship wasn't to the full potential. Overall, I like both of them, and as of a few days ago I told the second one that I still have feelings for the first one, as the transition between the two relationships was very quick. I'm wondering where to go from here? Any suggestions? Thank you!
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Date both until one become better for you than the other. Jumping into "relationship" too early causes the problem. Back out to see clearly which one you would choose. Many men who have hard time rely on themselves to get out of it Now that stressor is over he can feel free to pursue a relationship.
Well you have feeling for both of them.But if its your ex i don't think it would work out tbh. when you went out with your ex who dumped who.. if he dumped you there is not sense going back to him even thou he has feeling for you. Boys do that (Not all) They go out with you, meat a girl whats better looking than you, dump you, and because he finished a relationship with that other girl he wants you back because he doesn't want to be alone and look 'not cool' in front of friends.:/
You decide.
Wow, you are SO YOUNG. Stop in your tracks right now and quit putting so much pressure on yourself to find the 'right guy'. I know when you're entering the late 20's that all the focus is on finding the 'right' guy - but you have YEARS AND YEARS to look. One or two days apart from these guys will give you NOTHING but a one or two day break.
Take some time to sit down and write down what you want in a relationship, WITHOUT EVEN CONSIDERING these two guys, and then compare each relationship to the 'must haves' on that list. You might find that both of them are 'dateable' but NOT MATE MATERIAL.
And THAT'S OK.
You have YEARS to find the right man for you - and believe me, when he comes along, you WON'T have to debate whether he's 'RIGHT' OR 'WRONG'. YOU'LL KNOW.
Why don't you take a break from both of them, and figure out which one YOU want: no 1, no 2 or ... none? :-) Do you want a relationship.. or THE relationship?
It's much easier to give up into something when there's pressure on us.
On the other hand, if the first one didn't trust you enough to tell you what was going on... what makes you think that he will trust you next time?
Well.. I took 2 days apart from both. No contact at all for 1 day. I am still not sure who I want to go back to. Im leaning towards guy #2 as like you said the first guy didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on. But I soon learned that there was some serious things going on with his life that he was afraid to tell me only cus we were a new relationship and he didn't want to scare me off.
I want THE relationship not just a relationship. I'm 27 now so it'd be nice to find the right guy for me.
"Nothing happens in the first two days." ~ Gregg Braden. :-) Give yourself a week, do other things without thinking of them... and might get more clues from your intuition which one to choose.
Go for # 2 only if YOU like #2 more than #1 (not because what #1 told you).
27 is a nice age, but it doesn't mean you have to rush into something.