Asked by Southden on
Stuck
So my ex and i broke up in Sept, an argument over each others pets. I asked him to leave my home, thinking that he'd spend the night at a local friends place. Three days later he is clear across the country. We spoke for a few months, then this past Novebmer I was shunned. I sent a Christmas card, and recently sent a birthday gift, all with no reply not even a thank you. Most of his stuff is still around my house. I have been on a few dates but so far there is no one that I want to continue seeing. How can I expedite the moving on and away from my ex? Shun him back? move his stuff out of the houes and into the shed? all of the above?
Thanks,
Dennis
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Before you throw away or sell anything, check the laws in your jurisdiction about how long you have to keep it before it can be considered abandoned property and disposed of. Then pack it up and let him know that he has to retrieve it before that date or you will dispose of it. Make sure you have some evidence of when he left the state (I imagine there's something, an email with his new address, or perhaps he filed a change of address form with the US post office) If you don't adhere to the laws of your jurisdiction, then you do open yourself up to a lawsuit, especially if you dispose of anything valuable.
It's true you aren't his storage shed and you're entitled to move on. The best thing you can do for yourself is to go ahead and pack it up so you're not looking at it all the time and make the steps to finalize the breakup. It's unlikely that he's coming back at this point so start to set yourself free from his influence so you can heal.
Sell it, give it away or toss his stuff. Send him a note that you will do this and if he thinks that your place is a storage room and that someday he'll return again for it, tell him to rethink that idea. You have a life to live and his baggage is weighing you down.
He's made it very clear; he's moved on.
You should too.
Yes, throw out his stuff, and make him a distant memory. If he cared for you as much as you've invested in holding onto the hope he'll reciprocate the Love you're giving, he would be with you NOW.
Love yourself enough to know that he's not worth the energy, learn from the time you had with him, and move on to a bigger, better, and healthier relationship! Good luck :