Asked by missinnocent89 on
Give Advice: Is He Using Me?
So I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months, we saw each other before and then stopped seeing each other but are now seeing each other again. So when we get up I'm always the one driving, he doesn't have a car. I've been inside his apartment twice, but have never met any of his friends and we can't chill there. I am always providing green, he used to, not anymore. He has met some of my family. We go out to dinner occasionally, and we've been seen out in public together. I mean I know he cares about me to some extent and I him, but I really think it's starting to take a toll on me. I mean I feel like there are plenty of men out there in general, that I could have the same type of relationship with if I wanted, where it would be 50/50...you know? I've asked him numerous times to just be honest with me, sometimes I think he is being honest, and sometimes i feel like he's afraid to tell me the truth because he knows that I won't hang around. I guess I'm just looking for honesy here especially from the male perspective and from any female who has been or is in a similar situation. Thanks!
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I think theres a possible chance he could be using you because you have a car and money and he doesnt, if i were you i would look for someone with more honesty
i think you have answered a lot of ur own questions.you cant settle 4 less -because what u want is more.
If you want to pay, that's your business but, honestly, he sounds like a con.
Are you paying his bills, donating cash for pocket money, and not allowed to be too affectionate with him in front of certain people? If yes for those then he is definitely using you, and enjoying it. Whatever the big secret is he has he isnt telling, it has a small chance of being shameful, he just keeps the mystery going so you will hang around and take care of him longer. Now i could be wrong, but 99% of the time when this is happening, its a lazy buffoon taking advantage of a sweet girl. If you feel like he is taking and not giving, forget about him, it wont take a week for him to find someone else to take care of him. Losers always get the girl
WELL.... DOES IT FEEL LIKE HE IS USING YOU? IF IT LOOKS AND WALK LIKE A DUCK THEN SWEETIE ITS A DUCK!
You just answered your question. Accept it and leave him. That's not fair and i'm sorry your going through this.
I dated an ass like the kind of one you're describing here for four years. That right, FOUR YEARS! That was a huge chunk of my life I wasted on allowing myself to be his doormat that I won't ever get back.
Yes, he is using you, big time. There is no other way to see it. He's not being up front, and why should he have to be if you're not walking, right? He has been shown that he can continue being a lazy mooch and you're going t take it and he has no need to worry that you're going to leave.
Something has to give here, and that means this relationship of him being the taker and you being the one and only giver needs to cease. Call him out on his behavior or find someone who is worth not having to train and could actually make you happy. Good luck! :
Men do exactly what they want to do. So look at his actions, not his words. You drive. You pay. He doesn't introduce you to his friends.
If some guy was treating your best friend like that, what would you say to her?
He is probably using you. A guy that is into you won't keep you from his friends.
I have been down this road. It seems like he is benefitting from your friendship and you are not. I would opt for a man that can give you 50/50 because as women thats what we deserve. My feeling is (which is kinda ironic because i post questions like this too lol) you know in your gut what it is and what it is not, we are just looking for a stranger to validate the situation for us. I think you can do better though.
Thanks Cora, I think your answer is spot on, well both probably are but especially about wanting someone else to validate.