Asked by Ingamay on
Should I be upset that he's friends with his ex?
My boyfriend is still friends with his ex, and occasionally texts her without telling me about it. Sometimes I snoop through his phone and find the conversations, confront him about it and he doesn't understand why it upsets me. I trust him very much but I don't trust her. While most of the conversations are friendly, she tends to bring up things about their past together, and I think that she is slowly trying to get him back, wether he can tell or not. He doesn't think he's doing anything wrong, so it makes me wonder: is it me who's wrong to be upset with him, or is it wrong for him to be friends with her?
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Only you know how it makes you feel. He must come from a different school of thought when it comes to relationships. Maybe he thinks that you all should go out for dinner together and talk about old times. Oh, puke!
It doesn't matter if it is wrong or not. YOU are uncomfortable with it, so he needs to take it into consideration.
Tell him that you leave your past in the past, and would like to be in a relationship where neither of you communicates with exes (Assuming neither of you have children, otherwise, of course, you still have to speak to the other parent). Tell him if he's not on the same page, then you're not compatible, and you'll have to move on. If he doesn't love you enough to fight for your relationship, and continues texting her, then you know where his priorities lie. I chose a man who leaves his cell phone lying around and doesn't stay in contact with exes. I don't need that garbage, nor would I accept someone who does this. You are the treasure. Someone has to be worthy of you for you to be in a relationship with him. Have self love and always do what's best for yourself. Good luck.
Yes you have right to worry about this aswell confront him about it. You should never have snoop thru any of his belongings trust in relationship has been broken there's not good relationship out there with out trust. You have ask your self how long has it been since they spilt and have you been his next girlfriend after break up and why was there break up? Takes time for heart to heal and if they have children together they may never stop talking together. You may want ask yourself is it worth you feeling this way or be happier with someone that could give you 100% of their time and love with out sharing their emotions with someone else it's wrong of him for texting her when he should be thinking about you and wanting text only you. If they have children together she's in wrong for bring up good times of the past when it should just be about the children and only once week else there an emergency.