Asked by YourTango on
my bfs ex
okay, so i've been with my boyfriend for a year and we have an apartment together and have been having a nice life together. well lately i've been hearing things from people that his pathetic ex gf is trying to stay friends with all his friends even after all this time. some of these friends are so unloyal that they stopped talking to him and are close with her. the thing that bugs me the most is some of these friends are his military buddies and these are people he considers his brothers so i know it bothers him very much and so it upsets me. mind you he was with her for a year, never lived with her, was unhappy with the relationship, and has not talked to her since. my question is, is why is she still trying to assosciate herself with him? when will she get the message to stop acting pathetic and get her own friends? and what should i tell him as far as staying friends with these people?
Post new comment
You can't control other people. Obviously, his friends were not really good friends, and he's finding that out. Don't tell him who to stay friends with or who to break with. He's a grown man and can make those decisions. Like the other poster said, if someone starts talking about his ex, he should tell them he's not interested and not to speak of her.
It sounds like it's time to start expanding your social circle. Do your girlfriends have boyfriends? Then go on double dates with them and maybe he'll click with one of the guys. Join a mixed bowling league with him, or a co-ed sport team. Sometimes friends change and grow apart. That's part of life.
thank you for the advice! my bf and i have been going on some double dates, so he isn't missing those bad friends much lol. but i'm really glad i got advice from you and the other woman the biggest thing i learned is i need to stop thinking about it and mentioning it. it only makes the problem relevant when, to him, she isnt relevant at all.
Good hearing things between you and bf going well that things are serious between you two, never easy losing friend especialy over lies. Ok about your question it takes any one while get over break up she may not be to that point yet or see that relationship was unhealthy still wants some type of relationship with him and as pathetic as it sounds she has do this thru his friends some people never stop being pathetic and being friends with his military buddies something he has work out on his own you will support him with what ever he chooses to do stay friends with them or not and if he chooses be friends with them have an agreement not to bring her up and they see in time what went wrong on their own. For two of you remain close and try not bring her up especialy on dates or times you two really want be close.
thank you this helped me alot!! i should mature as well in that i do not mention her like you said. as long as i do that we'll be okay. just an update: this ex gf is now moving into this house that my bf used to live in with his friends. its really pathetic but knowing all this shouldnt change my relationship with him and i should just let it go, i think. lol by the way happy valentines