Asked by abutterflymask on
How to save a marriage
My husband and I are trying to start over as friends and work back up to where we used to be, fall back in love. I'm 110% commited to this, I want to see him happy again and I want to be happy again. We havn't even been married a year, but we've been together 7. He's a good man, but he has issues with letting go of past anger. His previous jobs all left him with a good deal of resentment, and now that he has the job that he's always wanted, instead of being happy with everything our relationship has imploded. We've had a stressful year, but its all been from outside sources. I have no issues with my husband, and I love him unconditionally. I'm giving him space, I'm giving him time, and I just need to know if anyone has any suggestions for when we start back gain. He's having a few days alone, I'm with family, and then after we're going to start back as friends and work up to 'dating'
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assertiveness training.
Anger is a code word for abuse. Has he ever hit you? And why does he blame others for the unhappiness on jobs? Guys with anger problems don't change. You need to decide: Accept him and his issues (which won't ever change) or move on.
No, no hitting. I would have never tolerated that. Currently, we're staying separately. Me at my family, him at the apartment. He wants to sign divorce papers and use the two months between as a 'trial separation' that we can call off if things change.
Sounds as if you two never fall out of love with each other and that you have smart head on your shoulders you know what to do if you sit back and think about it. Sounds as if he bought outside sources into relationship which is never good have family time outside of bedroom just be able let him vent his feelings and with no judgment.
He's actually now saying he doesn't think he's in love with me, that he didn't know if he did when we got married. He's bad at hiding his emotions, let me just put this out there. At the wedding, he was happy. Like I said in the above comment, I'm giving in and letting him sign the papers. I love him enough to want him to be happy. We're going to counseling this coming week, as a last try sort of thing. If not, its just a two month waiting game to see how it goes. Though I'm praying he changes his mind, if it comes to it I'll let him go. I deserve to be loved to, and I'm not going to live in a loveless marriage.
Sounds as if you be better off with out him know it be tough with you loving him and wanting hold on but like you said you deserve to be happy and loved for who you are and not stay in loveless marriage.