Asked by shetymztwo on
How will I control my self from being angry with my boyfriend easily?
I always get angry with my boyfriend easily from such a very small reasons.. When he can't respond to my texts, I easily get mad at him. I don't want him to go anywhere, I just want him to stay in their house.
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You have to stop the urge to control him 24/7. Try to limit the texting to half the amount for a start. You probably imagine the worst when he doesn't respond to your texts but, he may 1- actually be busy and doesn't have time to text, 2- he is with the guys(bonding) and doesn't want to be controlled by his Mommy, Girfriend. 3- He's texted you back enough and doesn't understand what more there is to text about and you're just being possesive or clingy. Text him once a day but, after that don't bother unless it is something really important. Then, find something to keep yourself occupied.
After establishing a loving, long-term relationship I think we all feel comfortable enough to release the bitch inside of us. This can be extremely dangerous because falling into a nagging routine will scare off boyfriends, fiances and even husbands.
See why and how to stop this from happening at this relationship blog: http://evedonegan.wordpress.com/
I think you feel this way because you feel insecure. I don't know if there has ever been some trust issues in the past where he has done something to make you feel like you have to act this way.
I've been the person you have described and I can tell you it's no fun. You are making the relationship toxic for yourself and for him. You need to work on it on your end. If you have the access talking to a therapist would definitely be a good start. However, you need to be fair and reasonable. Let your boyfriend have a life outside of this relationship, let him hang out with his friends without you and you also need to have a life outside of him. If you don't have many friends, you can start by finding an activity you enjoy and find people you can connect with when doing these activities.
there is not reason to get angry unless ...
gambling
drugs
drinking
criminal activity
or
other woman
money@
smile@!
Sounds like a trust issue. Has he given you reasons to believe he's untrustworthy? If so, you may not want to stay in this relationship. Do you anger easily with everyone? Or just him? Has this happened in the past with other boyfriends? Is it a control issue? Counseling would be beneficial either alone or with the boyfriend.
Do you easily get mad at everyone? or only at him? If it only happens with him, then I suggest you to ask this to yourself: "Do I even like him?" Because when you like the person you are with, you usually accept them as they are, and getting mad isn't an option. Or, why do you think you get mad at him so easily? Because he is a jerk with you? If you think he is, then Why are you with him?. I believe this is a love thing. I mean.. Maybe he isn't the one for you, or you are just not trying hard enough to fight against your own demons Again, If you are not trying hard enough, that means he doesn't matter much to you
guys perspective, #1 issue is trust hands down. this is a perfect opportunity for you to practice patience, and practice security within your heart. I know first hand txting and driving not good, txting whilst in the middle of a conversation, also not good. theres a thousand reasons why he probably isn't answering asap. you can get lost if you are afraid, worried, or cant trust him, trust me you'll always find another reason to get mad at him for it. I think you have the perfect chance here to exercise your independence. do something for you, that doesn't require him, go for a walk, talk to a girlfriend, read, write, sing, dance, cook, clean, play guitar hero, do something for you. If your mood is elevated without the need to connect with him, then when you do connect with him, you'll feel lighter and more energetic, instead of heavy wondering why he doesn't respond faster than you. the fact that on average guys don't show emotions or attachment on the same wavelength as girls, combined with an independent nature, it may be a very tough exercise to let him have some space. another really good idea is to talk to him about it without getting angry, perhaps he or you will understand each other, and either he will be ok with txting u more often, or you will be ok with an interval between responses, maybe both. your best tool here, is communication, practice your patience, and following your heart. dont also ignore that gut feeling, if he's never there, and he never says anything, and you feel a distance between you, then red flag. but continue to get mad at him, and youll discover how separating an irriation can be. its like balance. be open minded, willing to communicate,, understand you dont have to be angry, and come to a conclusion. you may find that if you consciously take those moments to forget about him, and remember you, im sure your relationship will really benefit.
Thanks for your advice. Coming from a reader, I really appreciated your advice and I think it will help me a lot in my current relationship :)
Well hun I understand about you getting angry at him, I get angry at my Joey too, a lot but with men I have some anger issues...or in general. I have a short fuse. But I think it's different with you, to get angry because he's not answering your texts right away??? It's kind of a waste of anger. There must be a reason why you get mad that he's not answering your texts. The way you say you just want him to stay in the house, does that mean that you don't want him around other people?? It all comes down to this: Do you trust him? If not you need to learn how and if you're not willing to then you're not ready to handle a relationship. Figure out the reasons why you don't trust him and take your concerns to him, talk to him about how you feel. God luck sweetie and control that anger.
If you dont trust him enough to think he'd reply ASAP if he could, then he's probably not the guy for you.
My boyfriend doesn't even have a cellphone, so count your blessings! I have definitely felt that way before, especially since it's so difficult to get in touch with my boyfriend. I end up getting worked up about really stupid things, like the fact that he never picks up when I call him at home, or he won't reply to my emails. What I try to do is to stop myself from getting to the point of no return. I recognize that I am getting mad and try to take a step back. I am sure there are times when you receive a text messages and you just don't feel like replying at that instance. I know that I get upset because it is my insecurity bubbling up. I start feeling like he doesn't love me (even though I know that that is ridiculous!) and that I'm not worth his time. You just need to take a minute and tell yourself that it is not a big deal, and do something else to distract yourself.
this happens to me all the time, but i never resort to being "controlling". all you have to do is think about the issue, is it really worth arguing and fighting over? me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, we see eachother everyday and we havent have one major argument yet. because you shouldnt even worry about the little things like him texting you back or him not wanting to talk to you long enough like you want. everyone needs their alone time and space. also, trust him or he'll leave you. i'd leave my bf if he were too possessive as well.
You need to do some self assessment. Why do you feel the need to be so controlling? Why do you resort to anger? I think you need to sort some of these personal issues out and get a handle on them. Try journaling or if you can talk to a counselor.