Asked by beh on
my boyfriend always talk about his ex,what does it mean?
my boyfriend is being used by his ex or should i say she use him to get a permanent residency in this particular country.he,gives evrything she needs but he give less.now,we're 5 mnths together but he still talks about what she did to his friends and its hurts me a lot.it annoys me when he seems doesnt care what i need like go shopping with me for my needs,but he did it with his ex but to me,he never.and he's on a dating site,for what?!i really want to know what he's up to,he said he loves me and like to grow old with me but his being selfish to me(like what ive mention above).please give me advice what to do and the do and donts with my relationship.i love him but i think he's not ready to move on.
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You really need to talk to him about this before you do anything else. Men do not think in the same way as women do. He may not even realize that he is doing it or he may think that it is ok since she was a major part of his life. You need to tell him how it makes you feel, you can't expect him to know how this makes you feel. If you talk to him about it, I'm sure you will figure out really quickly where your relationship stands. All it takes is just saying something like "I really wish you wouldn't talk about your ex so much. I really don't like it and it makes me feel like you don't care about me." If he is offended or defensive about it then he is still hung up over her and you are wasting your time. If he apologizes and/or makes an honest effort to change then it'll be fine.
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There are two options here:
A) He's still hung up on here.
B) He's comparing you to her.
C) He wants to see how much you care about him by seeing how jealous it makes you to talk about an ex.
If he's still hung up on her, there's nothing you can do but wait and try and understand. You can let him know gently that it hurts you when he talks about her and that you don't feel comfortable with it - tell him to put himself in your shoes. How would he feel if you did the same thing?
If he's comparing you to her, meaning comparing how you treat him, this I think is normal, but 5 months in, he's overdoing it a bit.
If he is trying to make you jealous, well... tell him it worked. He'll be satisfied.
To find out the answer to which one of these he's doing... ask him. In the end, nobody knows this but him, and you're not going to find out if you don't talk.
Its means he does not love you like you want him to, if he has a single dating site, where he looks up other people, which means he is capable of cheating ,it also means he is expolring his options which could end up in a break-up sooner or later i think you deseve someone who knows what they want rather then sticking to someone who is not on board with you if you have to keep reminding him to why he is with you, then it not worth your time there are better and bigger fish out there you your self should break up with him becuz by the sound of it, he does not sound like he is at all is considerate of your feelings or devoted to you and you are a queen who needs a king sweetheart ! someone who will love you like you shold be loved ,but on the other hand if you can't leave him then its in your hands and it will NOT! be pleasent at all and u will not be happy ,and it will be problem after problem battle after battle ,it will be WAR !!!
why is everyone so hung up on 'emotional' connection? that he "has not moved on".. People, do you realize he is not She? I mean, if he is a MAN then he needs a good fuck on an ongoing basis... Are you providing him that? If not then he is totally unsatisfied with you. Also, when you 2 have sex, do *you* have sex *with* him, or you just stay there wanting and waiting him to have sex with you? There is a big difference. Go fuc*k him like there is no tomorrow and he will be all yours, away for his ex, away from the dating sites. good luck
Have the same issue, but on the flip side. She still has not gotten over her ex who did nothing but trash her in so many ways!
Talk is cheap! I have always contended and live by these words myself..."Don't tell me that you love me, show me..."
He has shown you...that he cares more about the ex's feelings and needs. That he is or was looking around at dating sights.
Trust me when I tell you that the odds of things changing are not good! Been there, invested an awful LOT!
ok so other forein girl burned him. he is probably reluctant to have it happen again and you should be patient if you think he is worth the time. tell him you think his x is horrible and you dont want to hear her mentioned. the reason he talks about might be because he miss's the time when he felt secure in himself and have nothing to do with her.
the best thing for you to do is stay way from him...that kind of personality just want to take advantage as much as he could to every one including urself...don't think that what he says is true...it will never be...that so called "i want to grow old with you" is a misused word...thats the perfect word that man used when they cheat and is cheating on anybody
, follow what your gut is saying...action speak louder than words....follow ur instinct thats the best advice...be brave enough to do it speak out and leave...adios
Don't compromise your personal needs for someone who won't meet you halfway. It seems like he is not fulfilling what you need in a relationship and that's important for any healthy relationship--both parties should be content. There's always give or take, but if you're not happy then you should not stay in the relationship. It seems like he has a lot of issues to work out and that's probably not going to change anytime soon. You deserve respect and love, so don't sell yourself short by settling for less than.
If he isn't ready to move on from his ex, you can't have a relationship with him. Period! That's just the way it goes. If he always talks about her, doesn't treat you with respect or care about your needs in the relationship then it's not working out. I'm not sure what's up with his ex using him for permanent residency. That sounds like a weird issue. And as for the dating site, it sounds like he's cheating on you. I think you should break up with him. At least give him time to get over his ex and figure out if he really wants to be in a relationship with you before giving it another try.