Asked by Style443 on
How can I get my boyfriend to be more comfortable about telling me something personal?
Whenever I'm with him, he won't let me do anything below the belt whether with or without clothes. When I asked him about it he said that he'd rather not talk about it because it was personal. It's obvious that he doesn't feel comfortable with me even though we've been going out for about a year. What can I do to make more comfortable?
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This seems really odd after a whole year. I have to wonder, if he doesn't trust you by now, why is he in a relationship with you? I think it's time you had a really long talk with him. Let him know that you care about him and are willing to be patient, but you need to feel that he is comfortable enough with you to trust you. Otherwise you're pretty much in a long term relationship with someone who doesn't trust you and that isn't going to work out.
Trust is something that has to be built. You have to show you are trust worthy, by not pushing the issues, listening and not interrupting when he does tell you something. Also, watch how you talk about other people. Do you talk about them in a judgmental manner? How you talk about others can make people wary of opening up to you. But those things said. If he hasn't told you after a year, does he ever plan on telling you?
If I were you, I'd let him know that you would like him to confide in you about this issue since it affects your relationship. Tell him you will give him time and you are willing to wait until he is comfortable, but you would eventually like him to tell you. Then, if I were you, I'd ask him this same question. how can you make him feel more comfortable.