Asked by Be4utifulyImperfect on
What to do now??
Ok so 6 months ago my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. I've pretty much been devastated and completely avoiding relationships since then because my heart was so broken. But about a month ago I went the the club with my girls and met this guy that goes to my school. We danced the whole night and I really liked him and was really attracted to him. since then we have hung out a lot and text each other all the time. He's the first guy I've met since my ex that I really want to be with, like every other guy that's been interested in me since then I've just been terrified of having a relationship with, but not this guy, something about it just feels so right.
Anyhow we are on Spring Break right now and we've been talking a lot and I was saying how I really wanted to see him and his brother lives really close to me and he was going to go see him yesterday so he was like "how about we go out to dinner?" I was so excited he picked me up and we went and had dinner together and it was really great, we have a lot in common. But after we ate we got back into the car and started making out (which I was super excited about cuz I haven't even kissed anyone in 6 months... I know I'm lame lol) but things ended up going way farther then I was expecting and he asked if we could have sex. I said that we shouldn't twice but he's so hot and I really really like him...needless to say we ended up doing it. And it was amazing, proly the best sex I've ever had lol
Anyhow now I'm just scared though because I really really like this guy and I'm afraid that because I slept with him on like our first real date he will think I am easy and just like me as a booty call and not want a relationship with me. I'm not easy at all though... normally I never do stuff like that. I've only had sex with 2 other people and both of them I was in long term relationships with. I was kinda scared he would stop talking to me but he has still texted me all day. I'm just scared because I really like him, my feeling are even stronger for him now after we had sex than they were before, but did I completely mess it up by having sex with him? What should I do now, I really like this guy and want to date him. I just want someones opinion on what to do next and what they think of it all. I want to to be with him, but I don't want to scare him off.
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I think Lyz is totally right. If you don't want to turn into a FWB then don't sleep with him again until you two have been dating for a while. There's nothing really wrong with what you did but don't send him mixed messages that he can coax you into sex when you say no. I'm a little concerned that he pressured you into it after you said no a couple of times, but what's done is done. If he isn't interested in continuing to see you without sex every time then he isn't the nice guy you think he is and is just using you. Stick to no sex for a while and see where things go. In the mean time don't make a big deal about what happened.
You can't change the past and you can't take back what you did. Nor can you change how what you did makes him think about you. Your best bet for moving forward is to text him back and act like you would if you hadn't had sex. Let him know you are interested on a second date. But considering all your anxiety about sex the first time, why don't you let him know that you want to hold off on sex for a few more dates. You can tell him that you had a great time, but that you want to get to know him a little better before continuing your sexual relationship. But you have to be willing to stick to that commitment and be willing to let your "no" mean "no" when it comes down to it, otherwise you are going to start sending him very mixed messages.
Honestly, once something is done, its done. The only thing you can do is learn about it for the future. And hopefully, for the future, you now know to stick to your guns and when you say "no" actually mean it.