Asked by allykat1982 on
Should I make the move when time is right?
I have met a teacher at my college. I am in his class right now, but will the semester will be ending in 6 weeks. Over the time, before and present, that we have been in class together I have not been able to ignore the fact that he is more friendly with me, and moves in on me a lot. I also noticed I make him nervous. He has children who live far away and he sees every weekend, and is quite secretive about his marital status, widow, divorcee? I recently asked him how old he was and he got so flustered and would not answer my question. I couldn't help but feel rejected. I am having sexual fantasies and am doing my best in the class on my own. However, I am alone, he is alone and I want something to happen. I am just not sure what the hell is going on at this point. I am not looking for a serious relationship, but just a sexual fling at this point. Should I just wait until the end of the semester and ask him out for coffee? I am really scared of getting rejected.
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Lyz is right. Definitely wait until you are no longer in his class. In fact his job will probably be at risk so long as you are an actual student of the college. I agree with Lyz on the fantasy factor but I personally feel that a professor/student relationship has an ick factor unless it's like a TA who's closer to your age and less of an authority figure but you are an adult and can do as you please. Though if you're only interested in sex/hooking up why are you so afraid of rejection? It doesn't really make sense since you're saying you aren't interested in a serious relationship, just a sexual fling.
Having a relationship with you could cost him his job. So it makes sense he'd be stand offish. Those things considered, I would advise waiting until you are out of his class if you do make a move.
But consider this. You could just have a sexual fantasy about him and while the fantasy is fun, fantasies rarely every play out like we hope, that's why they are fantasies. It might be best to just keep this one in fantasy realm.
But, if you do REALLY want to go for it. Why are you so scared of getting rejected? What do you have to lose? Honestly, no one ever knows anything for sure, you just have to go with your best guess and be willing to laugh at yourself if you fall. Being paralyzed by fear of rejection is no way to live and not logical.