Asked by ohlookawall on
I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I'm starting to regret it, what should I do?
We were great friends before we decided to start dating. Our relationship is very 'on and off'. It's not that we fight or that we're interested in other people, it's just that one minute I feel like he's Mr. Wonderful and the next I'm completely annoyed at him. I haven't been feeling very secure in this relationship for quite some time. I felt like my times of feeling lonely, sad, and mistreated were much more present than the times that I feel happy (simply happy).
I just saw that there were no reasons to be in a relationship where you're not happy. I was tired of waiting for him to come around so I ended things.
I am starting to feel like maybe it wasn't the best decision. I miss him. I am starting to feel that I needed to try and work things out before cutting to the chase.
Is it normal to feel this way?
Will our relationship revert back to the 'friends' days, or does he hate my guts too much to even give me a passing thought?
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of course your going to feel terrible about it. But if you felt that it wasn't the best thing then you shouldn't have to go through it... It may seem like hes mad at you but deep down he really does want to be freinds. If he really cares about you then he will forgive you and want to be friends...
If you aren't happy in a relationship then it isn't the relationship for you. You shouldn't just wait around in a relationship expecting your partner to change. It's pretty much that simple. I mean, there will be times where you'll fight or be unhappy, no one is happy all of the time. But being really genuinely happy just being together whenever the occasional fight/life crisis isn't happening is what really matters. It's definitely normal to feel sad/miss him/feel what if regrets right after a break up, but that's a normal part of the healing process. You will find someone else that's more compatible with your personality eventually. For now I would give your ex his space, give him time to get over the whole thing and then maybe try to repair your previous friendship but let him contact you when he's ready.
You felt that way during the relationship so it makes sense that you feel that way now. One moment you love him and miss him, the next moment you are glad you broke up. You were confused about your relationship with him while you were dating and breaking up made you more confused.
I think you need to deal with some of your confusion on your own here. What do you want out of a relationship? Why is it not okay to be annoyed at him sometimes? I'm married and sometimes I am super annoyed at my husband and other days he's Mr. Wonderful. I think before you start worrying about him and what he thinks you need to parse out your expectations for a relationship. Do you expect it to bee Mr. Wonderful all the time? What was it about those "annoyed" times that translated to unhappy? Unless you figure this out its not worth trying to get back into a friendship or a relationship with him. Also, give him his space, if he wants to talk he will.