Asked by aM_ArA1928 on
Am I worrying too much?
I was in a relationship for two years and eveything was going fine-We loved each other very much but life took a weird turn and now I am married to some one else. I am confused if I should or should not tell my husband about how far in the relationship we were. I know it would be like throwing a stone on your own foot but I am scared if the person one day would come and tell my husband everything about us... That would just ruin my life!
-Please Help.
Post new comment
No!
God No!
I tried to tell my (ex)girlfriend not to tell me about her past. She insisted on sharing sh*t like how she s*cked her vegetarian ex's d*ck and it tasted good, and how a different bf and her would f*ck 3 times per day, or when I said, "Without recounting ANY details, have you ever f*cked in your parents house?" and then she named a name and said the garage, and I cannot forgive her. Girls, do not share past. It's disgusting, you've f*cked and s*cked other guys, we DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT. PLEASE. Shut up, and move on, or go back to your past and leave the present. You're being disgusting. She also said by sharing how many girls I've been with, she could "know where I'm coming from" and "we'd have better communication". Well, eventually I shared against my good training, and of course it didn't improve things. I don't know what the other girls are talking about like, "be upfront" or "dish it all". Keep your mouth shut. He doesn't want to hear it. No man in the world wants to hear about his girl's past relationships. Girls are stupid for wanting to know about their man's past. Doesn't that gross you out? It should. Honesty is the best policy, but only insecure people would ask about their partner's past. If they ask, just try to focus on the future. I was challenging my persistently pestering ex with, "why should i share this with you?" and she replied, "that's how things work" or "that's what everyone does". So I countered with, name one person who has an awesome relationship you respect, or are even a little jealous of, and you know for certain that they've shared their pasts with each other, and I'll share my past with you. She couldn't, and I shouldn't have shared. Never talk about the past.
EVER!
EVERRRRR!
I actually don't think it's worth it to mention now. The past is the past and it's done and gone. Why worry about it now. You have moved on and have a future with your husband. Why would you worry this person would suddenly show up and talk about your past relationship? Are you still in contact with him? I had a 3 year past relationship with someone before I was with my current boyfriend. I opened the discussion by telling him that I had some past experiences that I wasn't proud of and let him know that I would tell him anything that he wanted to know about it. He told me that he didn't care about my past and he didn't need or want to hear about it. Our relationship is our relationship. So, some men might not actually want to hear about your past or care about it. If something about not telling him is bothering you, you can offer up that you've withheld some information for whatever reason but let him decide if it's a big deal to know about or not.
Yes, you should tell your husband. But I am wondering why you felt like you have something to hide? And why you hid it in the first place? Now when you tell him and depending on how you tell him it might signal that he needs to be worried because you didn't tell him earlier. Did you tell your husband you were a virgin when you'd already slept with someone? Unless you lied to your husband to cover up this past relationship why are you worried about this man coming back into your life and "wrecking things"?
I'm the type to be upfront about everything... So I'd tell my bf, but I would have definitely told him early on. I guess I just wonder WHY you'd tell your husband.
The chances of this guy telling your husband your past, is slim. I guess if you wanted to bring it up like "I know we've talked about your relationship past, but have you ever wondered about mine/ that guy I mentioned?" And just dish...
Honesty is the best policy, if you think it is something you are hiding from him.
If not, don't worry. You are with your husband for a reason.