Asked by st on
how to deal w/ my current boyfriends past relationship?
Soo.. my boyfriend got "divorced" right before we started dating. We've been in a relationship for a little over 3 months now and I've recently found out 1.) he stopped talking to his ex 3 weeks before we began dating and 2.) his divorce isn't even finalized. I don't know how to handle it! On top of that, he swears he doesn't talk to her anymore and he loves me and wants to be with me, but he still keeps his pictures of his ex around.. there are even pictures of her on his facebook. I don't know what to make of any of this.. I want to believe him.. but it hurts seeing all the pictures and just knowing that they're there, even if they are not displayed. He tells me that I have to learn to accept his past before we can really make our relationship work, but how can I accept it if I am constantly reminded of it AND the divorce isn't finalized? He constantly tells me that he's with me and wants to be with me.. but I don't know if that's enough reassurance.. Any advice? question, comments.. some insight other than my own.
Post new comment
I don't think you should worry about the divorce not being finalized yet. It's only been 3 weeks and getting a divorce takes time and a lot of money. There's a lot of legal matters to be sorted out. Keeping pictures of her all around is a sign that he isn't quite ready to move on with his life (and honestly who would be after only 3 weeks). It's unreasonable for you to expect such a strong commitment from him so soon after his divorce. It's one thing to accept his life before he met you (maybe he went on a great vacation with her and kept pictures of the vacation around) but it's another to keep mementos of his ex around (pictures specifically of her). But again, it's only been 3 weeks. Give it some time. After 3 months some of the pictures should start to disappear and his divorce should be finalized by then.
Slow down and back off a bit. If his divorce isn't final, this man needs time and lots of it. Suggest dating other people and limit the amount of time you are together. When he's truly ready to move on, you'll notice the pics coming down on there own and he'll have a different mind set than what you see today.